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How To Get Along With In-Laws: Good Things Utah

How To Get Along With In-Laws: Good Things Utah

Marriage is a wonderful change, but it certainly brings some challenges, not just for the couple involved, but also for the in-law relationship dynamic. I recently sat down with the Good Things Utah to share my top 3 tips for daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws:

Daughter-In-Laws

  1. Set Clear Boundaries
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    Communicate with your spouse to determine what boundaries you’ll have in your family, then lay them out clearly and kindly to your in-laws. For example, maybe you say, “We won’t be able to make Thanksgiving dinner this year, but we hope to be there next year!” Or you may make a simple request like, “please call before you come to our home.”
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  2. Assume Positive Intent
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    Always assume that anything irritating or uncomfortable your mother-in-law is doing is done out of love. Although it may be intrusive or inappropriate, assuming positive intent allows you to respond in a way that is kind and respectful.
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  3. Recognize Loss
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    When a child gets married, there is a sense of loss for the family. Be empathetic of the family shift that has occurred, and recognize that your mother-in-law may still be experiencing some grief from the loss.
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Mother-In-Laws

  1. Expect & Respect Boundaries
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    Your son and daughter-in law will have boundaries and traditions that are different than your own. Be prepared to respect and follow them, even if you don’t understand them or fully agree with them.
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  2. Give Advice Only When Asked
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    There may be times when you’re dying to give advice, but don’t offer it unsolicited. If your son and daughter-in-law have a problem that they tell you about, it’s alright to say something like, “I have some ideas. Are you open to feedback?”
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  3. Ask For Feedback
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    If you want a good relationship with your daughter-in-law, ask her for her ideas! Inquire as to whether or not there’s something you’re doing that’s bothering her, and ask her how you can better support her.

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