Anxiety
Deep Breathing… How Can This Possibly Make Me Feel Better?
A lot of therapists do deep breathing exercises with their clients and what’s going through your mind might be… does that really do anything? How can just breathing help make me feel better? I breathe all the time and it’s never helped me before! Well, here are a few benefits of deep breathing:
1) Deep breathing increases the amount of oxygen you take in which then releases tension in your body
2) Deep breathing massages your organs increasing and improving circulation
3) Deep breathing can actually strengthen and tone your stomach… who doesn’t want that?
4) Deep breathing can actually help you burn up excess fat… also something we all want
5) Deep breathing increases oxygen levels right? Increasing the amount of oxygen gives you more energy!
6) Deep breathing increases the pleasure chemicals in your brain making you feel happier and can even combat physical pain
7) If you put your mind into concentrating on ‘inhaling’ and ‘exhaling’ it clears your mind of whatever you were previously thinking about giving you a break from the stresses in your life, depressed thoughts, etc. How? Your mind can only think of one thing at one time so you’re concentrating on breathing and not anything else.
Just 15-20 minutes a day can help you feel better and give you all of those benefits. We all have 15 minutes right?
Ask A Therapist: Mother-in-law Passed Away and Left Us $50,000 In Debt
Q: To start off I was best friends with my wife’s mother. She took me in and gave me a family. Within the last 2 years both my wife’s mother and grand father passed away. My wife and I lived with them before we got married.
We ended up getting married twice, once in a church and once in my mother in law’s room at the nursing home. She was 46 years old when she died and it happened this past march.
Since then I have found that we have tons of money to pay out in inheritance tax and to her medical bills if we want to keep our house. My wife has stopped doing anything around the house and she won’t go do any of the legal things that need to be done by her.
How can I get her more motivated without hurting her feelings and how can I keep my sanity though out all of this. I don’t really know what to do to get myself motivated to be happier.
A: I am so sorry to hear about your recent family losses and financial difficulties. You’ve both lost two important support people, and while they can’t be replaced, it important for you and your wife to get additional support during this difficult time. While grieving is different for every person, it seems that your wife’s grieving may have turned into depression. Her “lack of motivation” and difficulty functioning may not be something she can control at this point. Your difficulty being happy is also concerning to me and I recommend that both of you get an assessment for depression by a mental health professional. I also want to encourage you to seek out a grief counselor to help you process your losses, and a grief group so you can talk with other families who are going through similar experiences. To find a therapist and a group in your area click here.
In addition to mental health support, please seek professional advice on your legal and financial matters surrounding your mother-in-law’s passing, if you haven’t already done so. Tax issues and liability for medical bills can be complex and very stressful.
Thank you again for writing.
Take good care of yourself!
Ask A Therapist: Are Panic Attacks Part of Grieving?
Q: I recently lost my dad around Christmastime, so I know I am going through a grief process. One of the things that happened to me recently is when I heard of the Japan quake. Then looking at other news, it was about the supermoon. Then my mind was flooded with all these things in the world and I had a panic attack. I mean I was truly scared and normally I do not think of these things, it lasted maybe a day…all night and the next day . Is that from realizing my own mortality? In the death of my dad ? Or am I maybe just losing my mind … a little?
A: I am so sorry for your recent loss of your father. I don’t think you are losing your mind. The death of a parent is a huge life event and often brings a sense of your own mortality to the forefront and upsets your view of the world. It makes sense that after the loss of your father, the person who is often experienced as the “protector” in the family, you’d feel for a time that the world had become scarier and less safe.
Stressful situations, like the death of a parent, can sometimes precipitate anxiety. While panic attacks usually peak at about 10 minutes, it is possible to have clusters of them. Since you don’t mention specific symptoms I can’t be certain if it was a panic attack or another kind of anxiety disorder. I suggest that you seek out a mental health evaluation to determine whether or not you have developed an anxiety disorder and if so, to get treatment. Also, I highly suggest attending a grief support group. Hospitals, hospices, and community clinics often host groups to help grieving family members find support by sharing their experiences with others who are going through similar losses.
Take good care of yourself!
Julie Hanks, LCSW
[Video] My Therapist Is Abandoning Me
My therapist has told me in 4 sessions I will be passed to someone else. I trusted him and we are in the middle of EMDR. I feel so abandoned and let down. I feel stupid for trusting him. Since I got this information I have hit self-destruct. How can he do this? I don’t feel like I could even try to trust anyone again! I don’t know what to do. I can’t get any answers off anyone including him, I thought they were meant to help not do this? I just don’t know anymore. Any ideas?
A: Thank you for writing in. I can tell that this is a very painful situation for you to have to switch therapists after opening up and trusting your current therapist. It’s uncommon for a therapist not to give any explanation for transferring a client. Watch the rest of my answer in the video below…
Take good care of yourself!
Julie Hanks, LCSW
Ask A Therapist: I’m Not Happy. I Want To Be Rich And Famous!
Q: I just cant seem to be happy. Im married and have a baby. I work, have a house, car, family and friends. but nothing pleases me. I want to be famous/rich/popular. When I was younger I wanted to be a actress/singer/writer/director but nothing became of it. I just seem can’t to please myself. I know I sound spoiled and selfish because I have been gifted and beautiful life, but nothing seems to make me happy. Please Help.
A: Please get a screening for depression from a mental health professional. Sometimes even mild depression can make a full life feel unfulfilling and empty. The good news is that depression is very treatable through psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
You may also want to consider pursuing additional creative outlets. Your dreams of expressing yourself through acting, producing, etc. may be a signal that you have some gifts in this area that deserve attention. While becoming rich and famous is a rare occurrence, pursuing creative outlets can provide an emotional richness and joy to life that may be missing in your current life. Look for opportunities in your community to do what you love in the creative arts and see if that boosts your enjoyment of your life.
I can relate from personal experience to the need to express and create. As a performing songwriter, when I feel an emptiness in my own life, I usually sit down at the piano, or pick up a guitar to discover more joy and meaning again. Please write back and let me know how your mental health screening goes, and share what opportunities you can find to express yourself creatively.
Take good care of yourself!
Young Adult Group
Wasatch Family Therapy Young Adult Group
Led by Haylee Heyn, AMFT
Do you feel like you are constantly struggling with maintaining relationships and connecting with others? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with life’s challenges?
In our young adult group for anxiety and depression we work on 
- Coping strategies in dealing with anxiety and depression
- Interpersonal processing and relational skills
- Building self-esteem
- And navigating through life’s difficulties
The group setting is a great place to receive support and comfort from others who relate, as well as work on interpersonal and relational skills and coping strategies for life’s difficulties. The group members are open and friendly and we work to make it a comfortable environment for everyone.