Monette Cash, LCSW leads our DBT Women’s Group. A 3-series skills group that teaches basic skills such as how to manage your emotions so they don’t control your life, how to cope effectively with difficult relationships, and learning how to react calmly rather than impulsively in order to avoid unhealthy escapes. This 3 module skill group will run in 6 week segments and
all are necessary to have lasting success. Register Now!
Do you feel that you have a fire child? Parents of children identified as suffering from Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) sometimes do. They may wish that their child was more identified with the properties of water – seemingly calm and serene.
Dr. Stephen Scott Cowan, in his book “Fire Child, Water Child: How Understanding the 5 types of ADHD can help you improve your child’s self-esteem & attention” encourages parents, as well as practitioners, to view their ADHD-identified child as one of the “five primal powers described in Chinese medicine as Wood, Fire,Earth, Metal, and Water” (p. v). The first line of the introduction in Cowan’s book, “ADHD is a symptom, not a disease,” sets the tone for the remainder of the book.
He explains that caregiver interactions with children identified as ADHD are less successful when they come from a place of fear. Fear uses words like “something is wrong with my kid,” or “what can you do to fix him/her?” While Cowan admits that the ability to pay attention in class is definitely a problem, he disagrees that it is the problem and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with a child. He shares how focusing on the problems a child exhibits will bring up feelings of judgment, guilt, and fear for both the child and the caregivers in his or her life. He instead chooses to direct the reader’s attention to what they ultimately want to see the child experience in the school setting: success. He suggests that we can learn to develop a “sense of compassion for the diverse ways in which we engage with the world” and recognize ”the qualities each child has to offer” (p. 1) in attempts to manage the natural gifts of a child’s personality. When we embrace and nurture these natural gifts, they can become strengths that aid in improving focus for the classroom setting.
What are the natural gifts of a child’s personality? Usually these are the behaviors that teachers observe in the school setting that are discussed in parent-teacher conferences and lead to a visit to the pediatrician’s office for a medical assessment. Behaviors such as being always on the move, active, easily frustrated (wood child); overly social, class clown, mood swings, impulsivity (fire child); worried or indecisive when stressed by the environment (earth child); difficulty shifting out of routine or moving from task to task (metal child); daydreaming, easily distracted and hard to keep on task (water child).
Dr. Cowan maps out the path toward improving attention so that children can enjoy school and function effectively at home. He enlists the support and love of parents and caregivers who have control over the home environment to create the first influences that can be shared with other caregivers and teachers to maintain behaviors in the structured school setting. Dr. Cowan’s goal to educate and empower parents, caregivers, and teachers to understand the ways of holistically viewing their children through the 5 primal elements is clear – when we validate the qualities that children possess, we can bring them in tune with their world and help them learn the self-regulation skills necessary for success.
Whether your child is diagnosed with ADHD or not, the qualities that make them unique can sometimes contribute to struggles in the school setting. Utilizing Cowan’s 5 Types of ADHD may help you learn to embrace these qualities and identify strategies to nurture them to the benefit of your child’s ability to focus. Additional skills for focusing in the classroom can only lead to good things. As we transition into the end of the school year, this summer may be a great time to tune in with your child and create a path for improved focus and success at home as well as school!
I talked with caller “Mike” on Todd and Erin Morning Show on Rewind 100.7 FM about how he and his ex-wife disagreed about how to discipline: his wife spanked and he disagreed with it. It ultimately ended their marriage.
How can you handle differences in discipline between parents? What are alternatives to spanking?
For help with parenting issues and family relationships in Salt Lake, Utah, and Davis Counties contact us
Do you ever feel like communication with your teen is going no where? Have you ever wondered if your teen has a mom/dad filter that blocks out everything you say? You’re not alone. My favorite tip to help build better communication patterns with families (and couples) is using the acronym G.I.V.E.
Dealing with the death of a family member or close friend can be a time of great challenge. One of the most difficult tasks following the death of a loved one is discussing and explaining the death with children and adolescents in the family. This comes at a time when parents and caregivers are dealing with their own grief, and may be drained of energy and emotions.
Although it may not seem like it, your teens are watching your behavior just as much as you are watching theirs. Show your teens that family time is an important part of your family life by being consistent, enthusiastic, and engaged. Put away your cell phone and focus on the family if you expect them to do the same.
2) Make it a scheduled event
Pick a day and stick to it! Chances are your teen’s social life is buzzing with friends, school, and other activities, making a scheduled event increases the chances that your teen (and you) will fit it into the schedule. Send them a reminder a few days before and remember to tell them the day of that you are looking forward to spending time with them.
Many of you have joined our Body Love movement, turning the negative self-talk into positive views of our bodies. Now, we challenge you to help your daughters feel good about how they look. Studio 5 Contributor, Therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW shares 10 ways to teach young girls the concept of body love.
Free Printable – 10 Ways to Teach Your Daughter Body Love!
(c) Can Stock Photo
Food allergies affect 1 in 100 kids these days. That means, your child, someone at your child’s school, or someone you know probably has a food allergy. These allergies can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and bullying or teasing by others. Clair Mellenthin, LCSW joins KUTV Fresh Living to discuss ways to protect a child with food allergies.
1. Always advocate for your child. Educate teachers, peers, and others (ie. airlines) regarding the consequences of a child being exposed to the allergen.
2. Be open and honest with your child about the risks associated with their allergy.
3. Keep open lines of communication with your child about their feelings or fears about their allergy. This will give them the opportunity to open up if someone is giving them a hard time.