Perfectionism, the constant fear of failure and simply “not feeling good enough.” To a perfectionist mistakes are indications of personal flaws and the only way for acceptance is to be perfect. Our high expectations often leave us feeling inadequate and falling short of what we could be. But nobody is perfect at life, nothing is meant to be flawless. When we realize we are not expected to be perfect and that we are here to learn, we are able to develop compassion for ourselves and others.
This perfectionistic trait can easily be passed down to our children because they feel like they are not good enough in their parent’s and their own eyes. Here are some ideas to help interfere with this vicious cycle:
Women’s DBT Skills Group is a 3-series skills group that teaches basic skills
such as how to manage your emotions so they dont control your life-how
to cope effectively with difficult relationships- and learning how to
react calmly rather than impulsively in order to avoid unhealthy
escapes. This 3 module skill group will run in 6 week segments and
all are necessary to have lasting success.
Series 1: (6 weeks / Mar. 10 – Apr. 14) Mindfulness and Distress Tolerance
Series 2: (6 weeks / Apr. 21 – May. 26) Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
Series 3: (6 weeks / Sept. 8 – Oct. 13) Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness
There are all sorts of advice out there on how to improve ourselves and our relationships. Some of those pieces of advice become so popular that we start implementing them across the board. The problem with this is that even some of the most common thoughts or ideas that have been put out there about mental health are not always the most healthy or helpful in different situations. Then, when we try to follow these ideas and they don’t work, we blame ourselves and often give up.
Click the link below to read about some of the most common pieces of bad advice you may be following, and why you might want to think about doing things a little differently.
Before I write about the benefits of therapy, let me be clear. Your decision to go to therapy (or not) is a personal decision, and it is yours to make. Some people are intimidated, nervous, excited, relieved, anxious, or even resentful that they even have to think about going to therapy in the first place. Oftentimes, it is all of the above and more! That is completely understandable and human.
So, if you choose, what is the benefit of therapy? Why face all of these emotions? Here are my beliefs and thoughts about the benefits of therapy:
Confidentiality. Have you ever been worried that your most vulnerable story will be told to others after you have confided in someone? Or worse, has that actually happened? Therapists are bound by confidentiality regulations to ensure your safety and privacy. A therapist cannot share your story with others without your express permission. This can be a relief to a lot of clients who want to explore their experiences, but aren’t ready for others reactions who are close to them.
Human beings are prone to mistakes, and we all have the experience of doing or saying something that has hurt another person (even someone we value and love). In order to repair those precious relationships, it is often necessary to apologize. But simply saying, “I’m sorry” is rarely enough. Here are 5 steps to giving a powerful, sincere apology:
1) Own Your Part
To truly mean that you are sorry, you need to own up to the specific thing you said or did that contributed to the other person’s pain. Take full responsibility for the part you played. Avoid general statements (“I’m sorry for whatever I did to hurt you”) or making reservations about the mistake you made. Have the courage to own up to your fault.
5 common road blocks that could be keeping you and your partner from optimal intimacy!
Work life, parenting responsibilities, maintaining a home, dishes in the sink or a bedroom overcrowded with laundry, these are just a few examples of things that contribute to shaping our environment. Is there anything present or obstacles in your environment that could interfering with opportunities to create more intimacy. Environment can play a crucial role in our ability to focus and dedicate time to growing and nurturing intimacy in our home and relationships.
Women’s DBT Group is a 3-series group that teaches basic skills such as how to manage your emotions so they don’t control your life, how to cope effectively with difficult relationships, and learning how to react rationally rather than impulsively. When applied as taught, DBT WORKS!
Call Brittany at 801-944-4555 to register!
KIDS Social Skills Group
Wednesday, January 14th, 5:00 – 6:00 pm
Social Skills Group for Children (Ages 9-11)
-Keep & make friends
-Discover skills for coping with anxiety
-Strengthen social skills
Call Brittany at 801-944-4555 to register!
TEEN GIRLS DBT WORKSHOP
Saturday, January 17th, 12:00 – 4:00 pm
This One-day workshop will teach:
-Healthy Coping Skills
-Social Skills / Peer Relationship Skills
-How to Deal with Overwhelming or Uncomfortable Feelings
We’ve all known someone who is judgmental. It’s an unfortunate character trait and is often easy to spot in other people, but can be a bit more difficult to see in ourselves. But the truth is that we all could stand to be more kind and accepting of others. Here are 4 strategies to become less judgmental:
1) Cultivate Empathy
One of the first steps is to practice developing empathy and consideration for others. This often starts with ourselves. If you find yourself judging another person or harboring bad feelings, get curious, try to understand him/her, and ask questions. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and you’ll likely start to let go of some of your judgmental feelings.
2) Practice Self-Reflection
Whenever we judge someone, it’s always about us, not the other person. So when you catch yourself judging, self-reflect on why some behavior of that person is bothering you. For example, if you say or think that another woman is self-centered and spends way too much money on her appearance, hold up the mirror and see what issues of yours are being reflected. Perhaps you are jealous of her or are insecure about your own appearance and how much you invest in looking your best. Maybe that woman reminds you of someone who once was unkind to you. Judgments are very often brought about by something bringing up past wounds. Self-examine to find your reasons.
3) Seek Common Ground
Part of human nature is to notice the differences between ourselves and others. This can leading to ranking and comparison and is fertile ground for judgment to take place. Try to break the habit of seeing only differences and instead look for similarities between yourself and the other person. If you have trouble finding anything in common, remember that all human beings have experienced suffering. You may ask yourself, “What is his/her current challenge?” Seeking common ground can help you let go of judgment.
4) Stay in Your Business
Sometimes we unnecessarily insert ourselves into others’ business. Though there may be a natural concern for someone else’s well-being and we might want something positive for him/her, being overly concerned with another person’s life and choices can come across as judgmental. Instead, seek to stay on your side of the fence. And while staying in our own business can help us become less judgmental toward others, it can also help reduce some pain and anxiety for ourselves. Remind yourself that there are certain things that you do not need to worry about.