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NEW DBT WOMEN’S GROUP BEGINS SEPT. 8TH!

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Next Group Begins Sept. 8th, 2015!

MINDFULNESS and INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

6 weeks / Sept. 8 – Oct. 13

Tuesdays 6:00-7:30 pm

Led by Monette Cash, LCSW

Women’s DBT Skills Group is a 3-series skills group that teaches basic skills
such as how to manage your emotions so they dont control your life-how
to cope effectively with difficult relationships- and learning how to
react calmly rather than impulsively in order to avoid unhealthy
escapes. This 3 module skill group will run in 6 week segments and
all are necessary to have lasting success.

Please contact us to register for the group!

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Help With Homework? Re-frame Your Approach This Year

SCHOOL KIDS

The school year is now underway, and for most of us, that can only mean one thing. It’s just a matter of days before ‘it’ begins, ‘mom, where is my science book? I know it was in my book bag and now it’s gone!’ or ‘dad, YOU SAID you would help me with my English!’ Homework season has begun.

When did homework become so intense, so stressful? Does it have to be this way? Here are just a few ideas to re-frame the homework experience to make it easier on you and help you remember why we do it at all.

Pro or con, the homework debate has been going on for as long as most of us can remember. How much is enough? Is it worth it? Should you monitor your child? Most research leans towards yes, generally speaking, though not always in the way we might think. Overall, a good rule of thumb is approximately 10 minutes per grade, so a first grader completes about 10 minutes, and so on.

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The Beautiful Game

couple

Fall is nigh which for the devoted means football season is upon us! There is nothing quite like the sound of a roaring crowd when the football has been kicked off to signal the start of American’s version of The Beautiful Game. We wait in anticipation as our favourite players line up and explode off the line as soon as the pigskin is snapped. With curious wonder we watch as plays unfold and then we scratch our head or cheer depending upon the outcome. This isn’t all too far from how our relationships work either. You’ve heard many couples talk about how they “let this one slide” when it comes to arguments because you have to “pick your battles.” Like football, relationships have a defense and an offense. Sometimes the offense will get something by the defense and sometimes the defense will stop the offense in its tracks. This is the same way arguments work in relationships when you “pick your battles.” I have three suggestions chock full of football metaphors to help your “team” score touchdowns every time!

1) Break down the play – What went wrong that lead to an argument? How did your significant other say that certain thing that made you want to go for the jugular? What was the tone, intensity, and volume of what was being said? Like football players, we have to be willing to break down the game tape and understand how the play collapsed and fell apart. Who missed their blocking assignment? Who got lazy with their tackling and let it slip away? These are the important questions you have to ask in the relationship to really determine your strengths and weaknesses. In other words, if you can identify where you went wrong with trying to convey your point and open up dialogue with strong communication and accountability for where you went wrong you are well on your way to the next suggestion.

2) Learn from the play – Understanding how the play went wrong helps to understand what needs to be corrected for next time in order to have flawless execution in your touchdown drive to ultimately end up with the big score. Knowing what your role is in the play helps you solidify the “footwork” you need to display in order to stay in front of whatever is coming your way and adjust accordingly. In other words, if you know raising your voice in the heat of a discussion brewing into an argument is going to affect your partner – lower your voice, remain calm, and remember you’re on the same team trying to accomplish the same objective. Now on to our last suggestion.

3) Call an audible – Sometimes the quarterback may see something in the defense that doesn’t look quite right and he needs to have his team on the same page enough to call a different play to exploit the defense. This is called an audible which is basically switching up the play and doing something different. This isn’t all that different in relationships. If you start to notice that things don’t look quite right don’t be afraid to call an audible and do something different to break the cycle of the same ole same ole. In other words, if you start to notice you and your partner escalating to the point of no return don’t hesitate to switch it up and tell them how much you cherish them and appreciate them and sing your frustrations to them. Trust me, no one can stay upset for very long when their partner is singing to them in the key of Bohemian Rhapsody.

If you commit yourselves to these three suggestions you’ll not only beat the opposing team into submission but you’ll also gain the victory of a highly satisfying relationship and that’s when you can really break out your dance moves for the most epic touchdown celebration ever or not because it’s your touchdown celebration and you do whatever you want!

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Back-to-School Jitters: Tips for Parents

SCHOOL KID ANXIETY

The Back To School Jitters

For many parents, the beginning of the school year not only brings a sigh of relief, but also a feeling of panic with the emergence of the endless school supply lists, homework, and trying to get not just to bed on time but to school! For many children and teens however, the first few weeks of school are not just a struggle because they are mourning the lazy days of summer.  Many kids experience anxiety and really struggle adjusting, especially if it is one of the “firsts” – 1st grade, the start of junior high, high school, and the senior year.  These are major milestones as well as rites of passage for kids growing up into adulthood, with many hurdles and the unknown of what to expect.  Click on the link below to watch this segment for tips for parents on how to move through these first few weeks smoothly as we calm the Back To School Jitters.

 

https://kutv.com/features/fresh-living/back-to-school-jitters-tips-for-parents

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NEW DBT WOMEN’S GROUP BEGINS SEPT. 8TH!

canstockphoto3065314

Next Group Begins Sept. 8th, 2015!

MINDFULNESS and INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

6 weeks / Sept. 8 – Oct. 13

Tuesdays 6:00-7:30 pm

Led by Monette Cash, LCSW

Women’s DBT Skills Group is a 3-series skills group that teaches basic skills
such as how to manage your emotions so they dont control your life-how
to cope effectively with difficult relationships- and learning how to
react calmly rather than impulsively in order to avoid unhealthy
escapes. This 3 module skill group will run in 6 week segments and
all are necessary to have lasting success.

 

Please contact us to register for the group!

More

The Best Wedding Gift Money Can Buy

grateful-couple
As I meet with married couples young and old, to help them improve their sexual intimacy, I have become aware of something very clear. Most married couples wish they had learned what they learn in our sessions, before they ever got married to one another! I frequently hear from couples, “We should have done this years ago!” or “Wow, we really should have talked about that before marriage.”

I have noticed that some couples, depending on their value systems or home life, do not feel comfortable talking about sexual intimacy before marriage. Whether a couple chooses to be sexually intimate before or after marriage, most new couples are eager to have sex, but unsure how to talk about it. I can understand this, however, I feel there are tremendous benefits to having these conversations beforehand, rather than a honeymoon crash course where expectations can be annihilated and typically not for the better. It is good for couples to discuss what their expectations are for frequency of intimacy, history of any sexual trauma or sexual addictions and how that may impact intimacy, and thoughts regarding what is okay and not okay during intimacy. A counselor who has experience working with sexual intimacy can inform a new couple what the different stages of the sexual response cycle are and what types of things in the relationship or the individual may impede progress in the cycle. A session like this gives couples the language and breaks the ice to set the stage for many healthy and safe conversations about sex throughout their lives together.

So, next time you are stumped about a wedding gift, perhaps buy something that certainly won’t be on the registry. Buy the budding new couple one premarital counseling session to talk about intimacy. This is an atmosphere that feels more safe for couple’s to talk about these things, rather than trying to duck away from their parents or roommates somewhere.

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A List of Surefire Ways to Feel Happier & Fight Depression

walkway sea
A List of Surefire ways to Feel Happier and Fight Depression
Over the years depression has been steadily increasing in adults as well as children.  So how can we fight these feelings of sadness? How can we help our children?  I recently came across this website that discusses nature and our mood, and why it helps.  It is a very quick read and the website offers a list of ways that we can increase our happiness; each suggestion is backed by clinically proven research.  The source offers specific ideas and things to do for adults as well as for children.  It gives suggestions that can take as little as five minutes of your time, to more extended amounts of time.
Check out his link and get see if there is a something for you to get you feeling good:
http://my.happify.com/hd/nature-makes-us-happier-infographic/?srid=self
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Fight the New Drug

popular kids

A few months ago I attended a presentation with my teenage son at Canyons School District titled “Fight the New Drug”.  As a therapist, I was expecting the typical “why porn is bad” -type of platform.  What I found was a fresh approach that was all-inclusive, carrying out an anti-pornography message across borders of religious beliefs, political agenda and social backgrounds by presenting it as a public health issue, rather than as a moral, political or religious argument.  Historically, pornography used to be a matter of personal opinion.  Some people felt it was natural, normal, even expected to be consumed.  Others felt it was “bad” or “wrong” due to their personal religious beliefs or political views.  However, few people, if any, seemed to have concrete evidence to support their view.  FTND’s mission exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography  by raising awareness using only science, facts, and personal accounts.

Teens learn how they are impacted  on 3 levels:  Personally, (recent finding in neuroscience), relationally (personal stories) and socially, (connecting the link to sex trafficking and sexual exploitation), in a delivery using multiple creative mediums that captivate youth!  Founded locally here in Salt Lake City, Utah as a non profit organization campaign in 2009, they have carried their message to over 300 schools and colleges in North America, reaching thousands of teens (it’s target population).  They also deliver through social media and have a massive following that has created a powerful social movement online.  Their slogans can be seen on T shirts worn by Hollywood stars like “Porn Kills Love”, “Fight for Love” or “Stop the Demand”.

What impressed me most about this presentation I attended and what I find sets it apart from any others I’ve seen, is their online recovery program, “Fortify”: A Step Toward Recovery”, free to anyone under age 20.  Most young people (I never see in therapy), suffer silently, already deeply trenched in a porn addiction, too embarrassed or ashamed to reach out and ask for help.  Fight the New Drug offers anonymity where  teens (and adults for a nominal fee) can finally seek help NOT just feel guilty.  The website also offers a free book “Parents guide to addressing pornography with children” to assist families.  FTND encompasses 4 programs: Media, Mobilization, Protection AND Recovery, a solid, comprehensive non profit that few others offer.

Check out fightthenewdrug.org today.

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When Frustration Overflows – Tantrums Promote Learning

CHILD TANTRUM

Review of Hand in Hand Article “When Frustration Overflows — Tantrums Promote Learning”

Have you ever found yourself sitting across from your little one who is in the midst of an emotional outburst and realized that it could possibly be the ideal time to connect with your child? Expressing emotion can manifest in many different ways, what we do with it as parents and caregivers can offer us a gateway to connecting and attaching to our children in amazing and powerful ways.
The article “when frustration overflows — tantrums promote learning”
published  by~ Lyra L’Estrange who is a Certified Parenting by Connection Instructor with Hand in Hand can be found at:
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/tantrums-promote-learning/
In this article you will gain some insight into:
  • Why tantrums can be a wonderful opportunity to connect with your child.
  • Understanding your child’s needs
  • Allowing you child to feel heard and validated
For more specific support surrounding parenting dilemmas and struggles contact Melanie Davis CMHC with Wasatch Family Therapy at 801-944-4555.
Source:
Hand in Hand Parenting
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/tantrums-promote-learning/
Author of article: Lyra L’Estrange
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KIDS SOCIAL SKILLS GROUP BEGINS TOMORROW (July 15th)!

 

KIDS GROUP FLYER SLC - SUMMER 2015This weekly group is designed to help school-aged children navigate the challenges of social situations and understand what it means to be a friend. Focusing on understanding their role and impact on those in their world.

  • Keep and make friends
  • Increase self-esteem
  • Discover skills for coping with anxiety
  • Strengthen social skills

Next Group begins: Wednesday, July 15th (5:00 – 6:00 PM)

Price$50 per week/ per child

Ages: 8-12

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