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When Your Holidays Aren’t Merry: Dr. Julie Hanks on Mom Show on KSL Radio

When Your Holidays Aren’t Merry: Dr. Julie Hanks on Mom Show on KSL Radio

The pressure to be cheerful and happy during the holidays can be particularly hard for people dealing with grief and loss: the death of a loved one, your first Christmas since being divorced, job loss, or just the passage of time. Lindsay Aerts, host of The Mom Show on KSL Radio, and I sat down to talk about how to manage painful feelings during a time when you’re “supposed” to be merry.

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Case Studies for Parenting Young Adults: Marriott Alumni Magazine

Case Studies for Parenting Young Adults: Marriott Alumni Magazine

Do you have an adult child and sometimes struggle to know how to have proper boundaries in your relationship? You’re not alone! When our kids are little, it’s appropriate for us to tell them to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables, but when they grow up and have their own identities, it’s easy to get confused about how much input we should give into their lives. For example, should we be giving them advice on their jobs, their finances, and their dating lives? Of course we shouldn’t be helicopter parents to a man or woman in their 30s, but what if they’re really struggling and need some direction?

I shared my thoughts on this topic in a new Marriott Alumni magazine article written by Holly Munson. Here’s a summary of common scenarios parents face with adult children and my take on how to best handle them:

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Partnership Trumps Domination: What’s really at stake in this US Presidential Election

Partnership Trumps Domination: What’s really at stake in this US Presidential Election

After watching the “Trump Tape” yesterday and hearing Donald brag about sexual assault, I can no longer stay silent. Trump epitomizes the dominator model of leadership. Trump is not an outsider. He is the embodiment of hierarchical ranking and abuse of power through fear force and violence (particularly against women and minorities) that is at the heart of all of our current social problems and global crises.

This 2016 presidential election isn’t about the candidates, Hillary or Trump. It’s about choosing the fate of our future and the fundamental model by which we will organize: domination or partnership.

This 2016 presidential election isn’t about the candidates, Hillary or Trump. It’s about choosing the fate of our future and the fundamental model by which we will organize. Chronic violence, cultural clashes, terrorism, and threats of using nuclear weapons, along with the depletion of our natural resources and environment — are all warning signs that we cannot continue on our current trajectory of domination.

Cultural transformation theory

In her landmark book, The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future, social scientist, attorney and equal rights advocate, Riane Eisler challenged a commonly held belief that human beings are historically and inherently selfish, violent, and competitive. Her research and interpretation of history presented other glimpses into peaceful, equitable, and highly advanced human societies that have existed in the past. Eisler found that “Gender equality and a more peaceful way of life, [have] ancient roots going back thousands of years.”

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Thoughts And Prayers Are Not Enough

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In the hours after a tragedy inspired by intolerance and bigotry, it is difficult for me to write. I want to be angry and sad, and simply feel those feelings until they dissipate and I’m swept up in the next wave of media and life. I want to sit and watch the news, safely in my home, without action, knowing that it would likely be a reaction to the senseless hate that our country has struggled to defuse. I want to send my “hopes and prayers to the victims and their families” in order to feel a little better about the world and how I experience it, but, I also know that that isn’t, and never will be, enough. Whether you are an advocate for the LGBTQ community or an advocate for civil liberties, wishes and prayers are not enough to stop the violence and intolerance that divide our nation and break our hearts. For real and lasting change to happen we must, as participants in the democratic process, engage mindfully and thoughtfully in the political and cultural dialogues that are happening right now. Have an opinion, listen to others opinion, validate and learn about the differences, and by the grace of God or whatever you believe in, love each other. So instead of just wishing and praying, educate yourself beyond the emotional reactivity we see from Fox News and CNN.

Usually, the hours after a terrorist attack the media turns toward dialogue and coverage about the attackers that further instigates fear and polarization between
“Us and Them”. This binary mentality prevents us from seeing the individuals within the “them” and leads to more polarizing actions rather than learning to understand, communicate with, and co-exist with “them.”

When we choose to do nothing but listen or perpetuate the hate and fear rhetoric, we are ignoring our responsibility and opportunity to heal. By all means, send your prayers to these people, but also know that actions like voting, donating time or money, or having dialogue with others that promotes understanding and tolerance will help move us in the right direction.

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Social Skills: Let’s Teach Them !

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As this school year wraps up, most students and parents will eagerly, or  for some anxiously, wait for report cards. Progress in reading, math, writing, physical education and perhaps, depending on your district or structure of your school, aspects of learning such as ‘motivation’ or ‘character’ will be indicated somewhere on the document. However, do you know how your child is functioning regarding social skills? Does it really matter?

Research in education today signals a resounding yes. In generations past, children acquired these skills almost exclusively at home and within their families. With increasing negative societal influences and various sources of stress bombarding so many of us, it’s hard for parents to go it alone. Schools can often be an important partner with parents to provide positive social skills development. Yet, what can you do if your child doesn’t seem to be interacting socially in age appropriate ways?

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JulieHanks.com Wins 2015 NASW Media Award

2015 NASW Media AwardWhat do Lisa Ling, Rosie O’Donnel and I have in common? Not much. Except…we have all been awarded with a 2015 The National Association of Social Workers Media Award for using the media to help raise awareness of social work and social issues.  My website JulieHanks.com was voted “Best Blog.”

I love creating helpful and trusted content so it’s just icing on the cake to be recognized for my efforts. I am so grateful to be able to share my understanding of mental health, relationships, and strategies to build a private practice with my loyal readers. Thank you so much to all who voted!

Click here for the full list of winners.

For more relationship and mental health information follow me on social media:

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How to Deal with Critical People

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We’ve all met those people that seem to offer up more criticism than healthy advice or positive reinforcement.  Learning how interact with those overly critical people without letting them bring you down can be a very difficult thing.  Sometimes we may be able to simply walk away from them, but other times we are forced to have those people around us.  If you ever struggle with this, here is an article with some of my thoughts and tips on how to more effectively respond to the critical people in your life.

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Making the ‘Invisible’ Work of Caregiving Visible: An evening with Julie Hanks

Making the ‘Invisible’ Work of Caregiving Visible: An evening with Julie Hanks

Caring Economy Conversation final for reals

Join Julie Hanks for a Caring Economy Discussion

Date: Thursday, March 26
Time: 7:309:00 pm
Location: Wasatch Family Therapy
7084 South 2300 East Suite 215
Cottonwood Heights, UT 84121
RSVP by 3.20.15 HERE

 Download flier (pdf download)

  • How can we make the “invisible” work of caregiving more visible and valued?
  • It’s estimated that 75% of unpaid caregiving work is provided by women?
  • Did you  know that 1 in 3 women (and her children) live in poverty or are teetering on the brink?
  • Did you know that volunteer, household management, and caregiving comprises 30-60% of the GDP, but isn’t even included in our economic equation?
  • Join me for a discussion group about how we can create a more Caring Economy
  • Learn more about the Caring Economy Campaign here

 

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@Julie_Hanks Named Top Mental Health Experts on Twitter

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Can 140 characters really make a difference? A recent article by a top medial software company Capterra listed their top 33 mental health experts to follow on Twitter…and I made the list.

Here’s an expert from the article.

Over 280 million people use Twitter regularly, and they each spend 170 minutes per month on the social sharing service.

 

That adds up to a lot of time and energy invested into 140 characters or less, but it also means there’s some great, unique and authoritative voices on Twitter sharing some really awesome things.

 

This is especially true in the mental and behavioral health space, where not only individuals, but organizations, institutes, and departments are busy tweeting the most interesting news and thoughts on treating and understanding mental illness. Read 33 Mental Health Experts You Need to Follow on Twitter

I’m honored to be listed among such a prestigious group!

Follow me on Twitter

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Healthy Personal Boundaries: Holly Willard Podcast

Healthy Personal Boundaries: Holly Willard Podcast

Enjoy Holly Willard, LCSW’s interview on Healthy Personal Boundaries on the Brain Injury Radio station with Host Kim Justus.  Hear what Holly has to say. Listen to the podcast below.

Request an appointment with Holly Willard, LCSW

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