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4 Common Marriage Myths: Good Things Utah

4 Common Marriage Myths: Good Things Utah

 

Marriage is one of the most important relationships, but it can also be one of the most confusing! There are so many false beliefs perpetuating about what a good marriage really looks like. And while we may know in our minds that other couples have struggles as well, it’s not always something we talk about. Here are 4 common marriage myths:

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How To Support A Spouse With Mental Illness: Good Things Utah

How To Support A Spouse With Mental Illness: Good Things Utah

In any given year, 1 in 5 Americans experiences mental illness of some kind (depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc.). Clearly, this is an issue that affects a great deal of us, particularly the loved ones of those suffering. And mental illness is more than just an individual problem; it is a family concern. Here are some ways to support a spouse or partner with mental illness:

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My Own Assertiveness Journey: Inside Shift Podcast

My Own Assertiveness Journey: Inside Shift Podcast

I was pleased to have the recent opportunity to speak with Emma Bell of “The Inside Shift” podcast about my latest book, “The Assertiveness Guide For Women: How To Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships.” Although we talked about many different facets of and ideas found within the book, I was especially excited to share my personal experience with developing and practicing assertiveness, which has largely guided my career, my relationships, and of course, my journey in crafting this creative work. Here are some highlights from my discussion with Emma:

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Assertiveness Guide for Women Book Review on NewSocialWorker.com

Assertiveness Guide for WomenBased on both clinical wisdom from working with women and from her own experiences, Dr. de Azevedo Hanks invites women to embark on a journey to create a stronger sense of clarity, confidence, connection, and compassion by increasing their assertiveness in the areas of their lives that matter most. This book is useful to any woman who desires to increase her assertiveness and is a good tool for clinicians to use when addressing issues of connection, gender, attachment, and assertiveness. This wonderful guide is highly recommended for anyone who wants to be more assertive.

Reviewed by Beth Russell, Ph.D., LCSW, Clinical Associate Professor of Social Work, The College at Brockport for New Social Worker

Read the entire book review here

Download free book chapter of The Assertiveness Guide for Women

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Our Definition of “Good Mothering” is Bad For Mental Health

Our Definition of “Good Mothering” is Bad For Mental Health

Families are central to Mormonism, and creating eternal families through making and keeping covenants with the Savior is at the core of our work here on earth. However, it seems that primarily mothers, are talked about as the heart, or the center, of the families. Preparing to be a “good mother” is emphasized in Primary, Young Women’s, and continues as a central thread woven throughout Relief Society lessons and discussions.

When we speak of “good mothers” in church, we often hear stories of mothers’ great sacrifices (like a pioneer women burying a child along the trail West), frequent heartache and long-suffering (Elder Holland’s talk ‘Behold Thy Mother’), and the great joys, blessings, and the eternal significance of mothers. These themes echo family research that highlights a paradox of parenting — it is considered to be one of the most rewarding aspects of life while simultaneously being associated with increased stress, dissatisfaction, and even depression.

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Assertiveness for Women Entrepreneurs

Assertiveness for Women Entrepreneurs

The book tour for “The Assertiveness Guide For Women” continues!

I was honored to be interviewed via Skype by business strategist and life coach Nicole Liloia, LCSW to talk about assertiveness and how it relates to female entrepreneurs. Nicole expressed how many of the women she works with seem to struggle with defining and articulating their feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants in their businesses. Using some of the main themes from the book, we addressed these issues and talked about ways women could overcome these boundaries to assertiveness. Here are some of the highlights of our discussion:

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Rocky Mountain Summit of Sex & Intimacy September 23-24

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Wasatch Family Therapy is a proud sponsor of the upcoming Rocky Mountain Summit of Sex & Intimacy, which will take place September 23-24th at the Courtyard Marriott in Salt Lake City, Utah.

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LDS Women’s Titles and Names Survey Controversy: Mormon Matters Podcast

LDS Women’s Titles and Names Survey Controversy: Mormon Matters Podcast

For those of you who follow me on social media, you know how much I love to post articles that invite online discussions. I am usually fairly accurate about predicting which posts will generate a lot of interest and discussion. However, sometimes I am taken by surprise at the intensity of responses to particular posts and articles. That happened a week ago when I posted this link to this Salt Lake Tribune article by Peggy Fletcher Stack on Facebook about a survey and results asking for input about Mormon women’s names and titles. Within in minutes people started reacting and commenting and this flurry went on for several days, and was incredibly passionate. Read for yourself!

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Are You a Drama Queen?: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

Are you a Drama Queen?

We’ve all experienced drama at one time or another. Maybe it’s with a gossipy co-worker, an overbearing family member, or a nosy friend. But how do you know if you yourself are the one being overly dramatic? Self-awareness is key, but the problem is that most people who really struggle with this are entirely oblivious to the fact. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re a drama queen (as well as some tips to help you not let drama get the better of you):

1. Do I lash out with others when I’m not included?

In my clinical practice, I’ve often seen this manifest in relationships with in-laws. For example, a woman I worked with was upset when her mother-in-law had a fun outing with others in the family but didn’t include her. If this kind of situation happens to you, how would you handle it? Some might take extreme offense, harbor great resentment, become overly dramatic, and lash out. Others may stay silent and conceal that it was painful to be excluded. But I challenge my readers to assume positive intent and then simply ask for what you want. It’s okay to say something like, “That was probably a fun thing you all did. It hurt me a little to not be invited. I’d love to be included next time around.”

–> Avoid the drama by being direct and assertive and not lashing out or gossiping.

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How to Reduce Mom Guilt: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

5 Ways to Reduce Mom GuiltMoms have a lot to do, and we often take pride in accomplishing tasks and checking items off of our to-do lists. But when we don’t achieve what we set out to, unfortunately we can beat ourselves up (this happens particularly during changes and chapter endings, such as summer winding down and kids heading back to school). It seem to be human nature to focus on what we didn’t get done, but focusing on our shortcomings (perceived or real) can lead to great unhappiness and emotional distress. Here are 5 ways to resolve mom guilt:

1) Stop the Cycle of Comparison 

Theodore Roosevelt wrote that “comparison is the thief of joy.” I recently found myself comparing my family’s summer plans with those of some of my friends and wishing that we had done more. Thankfully, I was able to catch myself and simple say, “Stop It!” Social media makes it all too easy to compare our lives with others, but every person and every family is different, and there is something empowering about owning your own life and experience for what it is (click here for a past Studio 5 segment on avoiding comparison).

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