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Healthy Ways for Parents to Respond When Their Child Comes Out as LGBTQ

http://kutv.com/features/fresh-living/healthy-ways-for-parents-to-respond-when-their-child-comes-out

 

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How To Teach Your Children Self Love

Check out the video below to see Samantha Castleton, LCSW speak about How to Teach Your Children Self Love.

https://www1.newsdataservice.com/Player?ClipId=,S,201802,E715C7A5-F601-4DDB-AB1B-309BA8E9283B&ReqServer=NDS7%5CNDS7&QueryName=Primary%20Childrens%20Hospital&Offset=2798&rai=91629e11-4f88-11d7-80a6-00b0d020616e&ran=UtahNewsClips&roi=91629e11-4f88-11d7-80a6-00b0d020616e&ron=UtahNewsClips&run=&rut=0&E=12gl(7yf(VJf(2IYH7JS(79R(7zc(h&Time=12gS(74f(74fb74f(7xlb74f(74f(74f(i&Related=PV_1&pbp=Y

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What To Do When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friends: Julie Hanks interview LDS Living


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Have you ever gotten bad vibes from one of your children’s friends? Maybe you felt like he/she was a negative influence or was causing your son or daughter to be unhappy.  It can be hard to know when you as a parent should get involved and when it’s better to just let things be.

Julie Hanks recently offered her views to LDS Living Magazine on how to best handle these situations. Here are a few strategies for what to do when you don’t like your kids’ friends:

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Happy Mother’s Day! Let’s Do This Together

two-female-friendsAs a school psychologist working in a high school, I have the privilege of interacting with a multitude of people – adults and adolescents alike – with a common purpose; to help each other do their best each day at school and when the school day is through. Each time a parent, student, or teacher courageously walks into my office or picks up the phone to contact me, initiating some level of support, there is a striking similarity to most all referrals that come through my doorway. Regardless of the nature of the situation requiring help or support, it is almost certain that the people involved feel a sense of isolation – often deeply so – as if they are completely alone. For any of us who have felt that sense of isolation, how much courage it takes to reach out and ask for help ! Sincerely, be it a parent asking for feedback from a teacher, a teacher asking for help from a school psychologist, or an adolescent asking help from anyone is incredibly difficult.

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Adolescent School Anxiety : Why Some is Really Ok

Wasatch Family Therapy Teens

All of us, regardless of age, experience anxiety on a daily basis. Hopefully, as adults, we have learned healthy ways to cope with life’s daily stressors and can identify those times that call for when we need more, i.e. a job loss, relationship problems, a death, an illness, etc. If we’ve prepared well, we have the tools, resources, and supportive people ready and in place when we need them.

Attending high school gives teens ample opportunity, perhaps more than they’d like – on a daily basis – to practice coping skills managing different kinds of anxiety in numerous settings (social, academic, and personal.) While feeling anxiety from a low to moderate level can be unpleasant, it’s also beneficial. It helps teens in the short term: I’m worried about my chemistry test, so I’m going to increase my study time tonight. It’s beneficial in the longer run and helps teens build self-esteem: I’m proving to myself that while I only got a C- on my last test, I put forth extra effort and improved my grade to a C. These examples involve a real event. Anxiety can also involve a perceived event. For example: I perceive my friends don’t like me, so I’ll choose to start engaging with new peers who are more positive. Because anxiety develops from thinking about real or imagined events, almost any situation can set the stage for it to occur. While most children will experience some anxiety related to school and will cope well, some children experience excessive anxiety.

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Play Ball! Tips For Helping Your Teen Make The Team

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(c) Can Stock Photo
Spring is here and with each longer day of – hopefully – sunny weather, it’s also time for a new season of high school sports: baseball, softball, tennis, and soccer. For many of us, this may bring memories of own experiences, positive or negative, which we may or may not be conscious of. Regardless of whether you pitched your team through the state finals, missed kicking the winning the goal, kept the bench warm for your teammates or choose to ‘watch and cheer’  here are some useful ideas to consider to support your teen when he/she tries out or plays competitive high school sports.

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G.I.V.E. Your Teen Better Communication Skills

Wasatch Family Therapy

Do you ever feel like communication with your teen is going no where? Have you ever wondered if your teen has a mom/dad filter that blocks out everything you say? You’re not alone. My favorite tip to help build better communication patterns with families (and couples) is using the acronym G.I.V.E.

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4 Tips For Getting Teens to Engage in Family Time

4 Tips For Getting Teens to Engage in Family Time

1) Model the behavior you want to see

Although it may not seem like it, your teens are watching your behavior just as much as you are watching theirs. Show your teens that family time is an important part of your family life by being consistent, enthusiastic, and engaged. Put away your cell phone and focus on the family if you expect them to do the same.

2) Make it a scheduled event

Pick a day and stick to it! Chances are your teen’s social life is buzzing with friends, school, and other activities, making a scheduled event increases the chances that your teen (and you) will fit it into the schedule. Send them a reminder a few days before and remember to tell them the day of that you are looking forward to spending time with them.

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Dealing With Diabolical Teens

Having a defiant teenager is a particularly difficult stressor on a family.  A lot of parents get Wasatch Family Therapy Teensfrustrated and hopeless, wanting to give up altogether.  This stressor can also affect the couple relationship significantly.  So, what is the best thing to do with a defiant adolescent?

When addressing the issue of “diabolical teens,” one of my colleagues jested, “you just praise the hell out of them!”  This may seem counter-intuitive, but studies have shown that praise and positive reinforcement are the most effective tools for long-term changes with adolescents.  Understandably, the natural tendency of parents is to be stricter, yell, and demand compliance.  Sometimes this will work in the short-term, but will likely further damage the relationship and will make teaching your teen less effective.  Dale Carnegie suggested that “a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”  We can catch some of those pesky teenage behaviors more effectively through praise than with criticism.

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Ask A Therapist: I’m Angry AND Sad. What’s Wrong With Me?

Q: I’m 15 years old and I have been getting angry for sometime no reason at all and then becoming sad.  I am sad for a long time (10:30a.m.-9:00p.m.).  I don’t know what to do and people ask what’s wrong and i just snap at them and feel even worse and I think I’m losing some of my friends.  I used to be the funny guy but now I’m just the guy that sits in his chair quietly and doesn’t really talk to anyone anymore.  I don’t feel like myself and I’m actually just avoiding people anymore. Please Help, Thank you.

A: How confusing to be having these overwhelming emotions and not know where they came from or why you’re getting upset. I’m so glad you wrote in for help. I’m always relieved when adolescent young men write in for emotional help because so many suffer in silence and don’t know how to reach out for help.

What you’re describing sounds like some kind of depression. You might be surprised to hear that irritability and anger are often signs of depression, especially in adolescents. The changes in your personality and your social behavior also point to depression. Does anyone in your life know how sad you’re feeling? Do you have parents you could talk to or another trusted adult, like a school counselor who could help you find a therapist and set up a medical evaluation?

I urge you to talk to your parents, let them know about your feelings, and ask them to help you find a therapist to meet with. Also, please go to your MD and get a physical to rule out possible medical conditions that might be contributing to your low moods. Click the Find Help at the top of this page to find a therapist in your area who specializes in working with adolescents and depression.

I am so glad that you emailed “Ask the Therapist” to reach out for help and guidance. I am hopeful that it will inspire other young men to pay more attention to their emotions and ask for help when needed.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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