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Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in Marriage: Good Things Utah

Abuse is a tough topic to talk about, but it’s so important that we know signs to watch out for. While physical abuse is easy to identify, emotional abuse can be more subtle but can be just as damaging (while most everyone has mistreated their partner at times, we are talking about repeated and consistent behavior). Here are some signs of emotional abuse in marriage:

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The Three Communication Styles: Good Things Utah

The Three Communication Styles: Good Things Utah

One of the biggest problems in marriage is poor communication. There’s so much emotional history and baggage, and both people have thoughts, feelings, and need that can cloud the situation, so it’s easy to miss each other. It’s important to understand three distinct communication styles and how they can hinder or help our ability to connect with each other.

The Doormat

The name says it all: an individual with a doormat style of communication often gets trampled on or simply allow others to lead. They typically favor peace over any type of conflict, so they’ll often be passive or give the silent treatment when things get difficult. This can lead to problems, as those assuming the doormat style have their relationship needs chronically neglected and do not take a stand for themselves.

The Sword

The sword is the opposite: those with this style are often very aggressive, defensive, and on edge. They may verbally lash out or blame others. For them, self-preservation is achieved through emotional manipulation or violence, but the relationship suffers the damage.

The Lantern

The lantern is the type of communication that we should all strive for. It’s illuminating and invites all into the light to see different perspectives and experiences. It is firm and secure, yet not overbearing. The lantern is a more mature style of communication, as it is rises above the tendency to be either a sword or a doormat.

If you are interested in learning more about communication styles and how to strengthen your relationships with also maintaining your own unique voice, check out my book “The Assertiveness Guide for Women.” 

 

 

 

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20 Ways To Lose A Friend

In KIDS group participants learn how to make and keep friends.  Sometimes it’s the negative Wasatch Family Therapybehaviors that make a bad first impression or push friends away.  These behaviors can be on purpose, accidental or driven by a desperate need to be accepted.  The group members came up with these 20 ways to lose a friend.  If your child struggles with friendship issues, challenge them to do identify a behavior and work on decreasing it.

  1. Being Mean
  2. Annoying behavior- not stopping when asked
  3. Trying to be friends with the wrong person (someone who is consistently mean)
  4. Being physically aggressive
  5. Cheating
  6. Gossiping
  7. Being too hyper
  8. Acting weird
  9. Inappropriate talk (swearing/potty talk)
  10. Being a know it all
  11. Being controlling
  12. Invading personal space
  13. Trying too hard (people pleasing)
  14. Not being yourself: (pretending to be like them to be accepted).
  15. Lying
  16. Antagonizing: Pushing people’s buttons on purpose
  17. Only talking about yourself
  18. One uping/ Bragging
  19. Getting jealous when they play with someone else
  20. Not taking care of yourself: (baths, brushing teeth, clean clothing, etc).
This summer KIDS group is teaming up with Mad Science to provide an innovative and hands on experience to learn social skills. Many kids excel in science because it is logical and predictable. Human behavior is much more complex. We will be using the laws of science to help explain social etiquette in a new and fun way. Click here for more information.

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