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Ask A Therapist: Can Dream Journals Be Helpful in Understanding Weird Dreams?

Q: Having weird dreams and therapist is questioning if they are happening because i could be repressing  internal battles. My new therapist is having me keep a “Dream Journal.” Freud has said that “dreams are the royal road to the unconscious mind.” I’m wondering if you think that this could be helpful/not helpful/why would she be having me keep one, and how many people here are keeping a dream journal???

Click arrow below to listen to my response.

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Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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Ask A Therapist: Eating Disorder, Depression, Insomnia, & Cutting

Q: I have an eating disorder, depression, insomnia, and now I’ve started cutting. No one cares. My mom said things could be worse. My dad ignores it. My boyfriend says its in my mind and I can get over it on my own. I’ve started cutting and no one knows and it’s embarrassing. I need help. What should I do? (24 yr old female college student)

A: Click the arrow below to hear my response to your question…

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Click here to find a therapist in your area

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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Ask A Therapist: Anger Issues Due To Childhood Abuse

Q: I have acknowledged the fact that I have an anger problem, but I have not been able to find a way to deal with it. When I get angry I scream, curse, and get verbally abusive with the person that I am angry with. I have broken objects by throwing them across the room or by simply breaking them myself. I have injured myself by punching and kicking walls and random objects. Whenever I try to control my anger I feel light-headed, weak and shaky. After my anger passes I feel frustrated because I couldn’t control myself and break down in tears.

I have seen a therapist before for my anger issues and it only helped me for a couple of days before I was my old self again. While in therapy the therapist handed me a paper with a list of questions, one of the questions being; “have you ever been sexually abused?” I answered no, even though I experienced sexual abuse as a child. When I was 7 I started being abused by a close family member, it lasted until I turned 11 1/2 years old (when I started puberty.) I have never told anybody about it because I feel embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that the abuse lasted for so long. I know that the abuse was not my fault but I find myself constantly blaming myself for it because I never told anyone about it. I’m now 21 years old and I am afraid that I will hurt someone due to my anger. The relationships that I have been in before have not lasted long due to my anger and I’m tired of not being in control of my emotions.

I am seeking advice for what I should do to try and resolve my problem. I know that by talking about my abuse with someone I might be able to let the emotions that I have locked inside out, but I know that I will never be able to talk to someone about it due to the embarrassment that I feel. So I’m kind of at an edge here. Any type of advice would be helpful and greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Click the arrow below to listen to the therapist’s response…

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To find a therapist who can help resolve your abuse issues click Find Help.  Please visit www.malesurvivor.org for more resources to heal from male childhood sexual abuse.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

*This is my first Ask the Therapist AUDIO response. What do you think? Like it, hate it? Let me know your thoughts.

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Ask A Therapist: I Have No Sex Drive & Can’t Keep a Relationship

I was abused as a child, have no sex drive and the one true love has left me (he doesn’t know about my childhood) I want to know if there is any hope for us at all-we never had sex often (twice in a year) he won’t discuss sex as he gets embarrassed and never ever made the 1st move, told me he loves me but not the way a boyfriend should? We both work long hours and shift work, and I have a dog that gets jealous even if we kiss!! but I feel such a failure, and I know we were soul mates, can i get him back? He wont answer my calls, and I was constantly accusing him of having an affair.  I’m absolutely devastated as I feel like I’ve lost the one true love of my life.

A: Click arrow to listen to response from Julie Hanks, LCSW.

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Additional childhood abuse resources:
Find a therapist resource
PsychCentral’s Survivors of Abuse Community Forum

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

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Ask A Therapist: How Do I Get Over My Ex-Boyfriend?

relaxQ: Hi…My problem is that my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. we already planned to go to Hawaii and I have to go because I can’t pay him back since it’s really expensive. We decided to be friends, when I’m around him I want to be his friend and that’s the only thing I think about but when I’m not around him, I start missing him so much. I keep telling myself that I want him to be my friend nothing more, I don’t want to go to back to him and he doesn’t either but I miss him so much and want to be around him all the time. The trip is in 2 weeks and were gonna spend 10 days together there. I’m scared that I will get hurt and after we get back from Hawaii, I will start missing him more and get hurt even more. Please help me, I seriously have no idea of what to do and no one can help me out. I have finals coming in a week and I really don’t want anything to affect my studying.

A: Don’t go to Hawaii with someone who just broke up with you, even if you have to forfeit money. Focus on your studies and on moving forward with your life. This is a chance to learn how to tolerate missing him, and process the grief. You may want to talk with a counselor through your college.

Click the arrow below to listen to my audio response.

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Creative Commons License photo credit: janineomg

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

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How Do I Get Over My Ex-Boyfriend?

relaxHi…My problem is that my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. we already planned to go to Hawaii and I have to go because I can’t pay him back since it’s really expensive. We decided to be friends, when I’m around him I want to be his friend and that’s the only thing I think about but when I’m not around him, I start missing him so much. I keep telling myself that I want him to be my friend nothing more, I don’t want to go to back to him and he doesn’t either but I miss him so much and want to be around him all the time. The trip is in 2 weeks and were gonna spend 10 days together there. I’m scared that I will get hurt and after we get back from Hawaii, I will start missing him more and get hurt even more. Please help me, I seriously have no idea of what to do and no one can help me out. I have finals coming in a week and I really don’t want anything to affect my studying.

A: Don’t go to Hawaii with someone who just broke up with you, even if you have to forfeit money. Focus on your studies and on moving forward with your life. This is a chance to learn how to tolerate missing him, and process the grief. You may want to talk with a counselor through your college.

Click the arrow below to listen to my audio response.

[powerpress]

Creative Commons License photo credit: janineomg

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

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Boyfriend Has Changed

Teen Angst
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 2 years. We were so in love and we never fought. In July I started taking birth control pills and became anxious and depressed. we started fighting a lot and everything I guess changed. It’s been at least 5 months from then and my feelings have changed. he isn’t the same person anymore and gets mad at everything. I’m sometimes afraid to to say anything because how mad he gets. He doesn’t listen when I tell him whats wrong and he doesn’t understand why I get mad. he is really hard to talk to and all we do is fight now. I don’t enjoy spending time with him anymore and I hardly think about him the way I used to. I don’t think about other people but I do think about what if I went out with other people, would I be happier? I don’t want to break up. I just want to see if there is hope to save this relationship.

A: Please check with your medical provider to see if there are other options for contraception that will have less impact on your mood. Your longing to explore other relationships is very appropriate for a 17 year old. If you’re really invested in this relationship, you may consider going to counseling together. My biggest questions are “Why are you holding on to the relationship?” and “Is this relationship in your best interest?”

Click the arrow below to listen to my audio response…

[powerpress]

Creative Commons License photo credit: Nathan Csonka Photograph

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

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Ask The Therapist: How Can I Heal My Friendship?

I have a friend that I care deeply for. Over the last two years since she has known me I know that I have emotionally been dependent on her. I haven’t been as bad at this as I have been in the past but now she has let me know that she doesn’t want any contact with me. I know without much background information it would be hard to answer this question. I have been told that I do have some traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and I do recognize that I have fears of abandonment, right now it’s a fear of her abandonment of the friendship. We do go to the same church so I do see her there. I want to heal this relationship but not sure how. I want to respect her wish to not have contact with me but I would do anything to help heal this relationship.

A: Thank you for writing in. What a difficult situation to find yourself in. You are being faced with the very thing that you are afraid of. This “time out” from your friendship can be an opportunity for personal insight and growth. Please respect your friend’s boundaries and need for space right now while you take time to reflect and identify your emotional patterns that have pushed her away.

Click the arrow below to hear my full response.

[powerpress]

Take good care of yourself,

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

More