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5 Conversational Pet Peeves: Julie Hanks on Studio 5

5 Conversational Pet Peeves: Julie Hanks on Studio 5

There’s an art to good conversation, and sometimes we don’t get it quite right. When it comes to conversational mishaps, there’s impolite…and then there’s annoying. Certain patterns are not only irritating but also don’t work or move the relationship forward. Here are five conversational pet peeves to avoid (we’re all guilty of at least a few!) :

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Anger Management Series – Part 1

Many of us struggle with anger and the first thing everyone wants to do when they’re angry is to get rid of it. In all actuality anger is a completely acceptable feeling and not something that we need to run away from or even be ashamed about. Anger has a place and a purpose. When you’re feeling anger – don’t discount it! When you’re feeling angry then listen to it and explore it. Anger is meant to tell us that something is wrong and there is something that we need to take care of. (c) Can Stock Photo” src=”http://www.wasatchfamilytherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/angrycouple2-150×150.jpg” alt=”” width=”150″ height=”150″ />

When you’re angry talk it through your mind and ask yourself what is really happening in that exact moment. Explore the root of your anger. What’s happening? What are your immediate thoughts? Are there some boundaries you should be aware of and possibly set? Also pay attention to the vulnerable and untouched emotions underneath. Anger hides our feelings of hurt, fear, worry, or sadness. When you are feeling angry – work though it and don’t shut it down. Explore it. Below are some extra do’s and don’ts of anger.

What not to do:

  1. Have you ever noticed when you get angry but don’t handle it makes you sick? Don’t hold anger in because internalizing can lead to sickness and even depression. Be able to diffuse your anger, not hold it in.
  2. Don’t blame when you’re angry. Blaming leads to defensive behavior, which can get out of hand.

What to do:

  1. Control your tone of voice. This is where many misconceptions of reality happen and things get out of control when they aren’t meant to.
  2. Learn to make compromises between yourself and angry parties. This may diffuse anger pretty quickly.
  3. Develop a sense of humor. Don’t make mountains out of molehills and pick your battles. Some things just aren’t worth fighting for.
  4. Reduce the amount of stress in your life. If you’re stressed out, a lot of your molehills may turn into mountains.

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Will 1 Year Waiting Period Before Divorcing Save Marriages?: KSL TV News

Wasatch Family Therapy CouplesKSL’s Brooke Walker asked me to weigh in on the recent proposal from the Institute for American Values suggesting to lawmakers a mandatory divorce waiting period. In my clinical work with couples I’ve found that couples often seriously consider or file for divorce because they have lost hope of reconnecting with their spouse and think that they’ve exhausted all resources. I frequently suggest slowing down the divorce process by reminding couples, “You can get divorced next month, in 3 months, or in a year. What’s the rush?”

Luckily, marriage counselors have more tools than ever before to help couples understand the root of their emotional disconnection and to repair relationships, if they are willing. Dr. Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the model we use here at Wasatch Family Therapy, has had tremendous success repairing severely distressed relationships.

Learn more about this proposed wait period and here a few of my thoughts on the topic…



Read the entire “Second Chances: A Proposal To Reduce Unnecessary Divorce

Read more on KSL.com – Waiting period before divorce could prevent split families

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