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Are You Dating a Nice Guy or Jerk in Disguise? Women’s Health Mag Interview

Are You Dating a Nice Guy or Jerk in Disguise? Women’s Health Mag Interview

When you’re dating it can be hard to find a nice guy. If you’re found one, make he’s the real deal by watching for these 8 signs.

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“You want to watch for patterns,” says therapist and relationship expert Julie Hanks, Ph.D., owner and director of Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, and author of The Burnout Cure. “We all behave in unhealthy or manipulative ways once in awhile, but it’s problematic when there are consistent patterns of behavior that don’t feel quite right.”

“If he says unkind or hurtful things to you couched in a kind voice, or in the name of ‘I’m just being honest,’ that’s still mean,” says Hanks. “Or, if he makes cutting or belittling comments and then laughs it off by saying ‘I was only joking! Why do you take things so seriously?’ he just may be a jerk in disguise.”

“You may be flattered that he wants to spend every free moment with you,” says Hanks. “But how does he respond when you aren’t available? A great guy will be able to express disappointment and that he’ll miss you. A jerk in disguise will pout and give you a cold shoulder or a guilt trip for choosing someone else over him.”

Read the entire article here

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Single? How To Have A Great First Date (part 2)

Read part 1 here

Redefining a Successful Date

A successful first date is one where you simply enjoy the other person’s company. It does not require that you come to a conclusion about whether he or she is “the one.” You may or may not get a second date. If you don’t, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a success. If you can look at the experience as one where you get to meet someone new, maybe learn a few new things, and do something fun, you’ll find yourself more at ease. You’ll put less pressure on yourself and on the situation.

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Single? How To Have A First Date Great (part 1)

I must admit I’m relieved that it’s been a couple of decades since I’ve “dated.” I guess technically I still “date” but I’ve been going out with the same guy for the past 22 years, and he happens to be my husband. But the kind of dating we’re talking about today is dating to find “the one”, not dating to keep him.

Dating often gets a bad rap. You hear horror stories of people misrepresenting themselves, or that there’s nowhere to find good people, or about over-the-top awkward scenarios, and certainly situations like that do exist. But in the overall, grand scheme of things, dating is not nearly as bad as some people might make it out to be. You just need a little practice and a bit of know-how going into it.

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