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Ask A Therapist: Is This Depression, Personality Disorder, or Bipolar?

Well I’m 19, but I don’t feel 19. I have so many things going on in my life that it’s hard to keep up with everything. I’m a full time worker, a full time student and a part time gym rat. I’m also in a relationship. There is no time in the day for me to do anything and everything I do always feels rushed. Even though I’m interacting with my coworkers, friends, or girlfriend during the day, I feel empty and numb to it all, like everything is just an act. As far as feelings go, like I said, I’m numb. I feel as if my best friend or mother could die and I wouldn’t care, and I feel as though to a certain extent that I don’t care even for my girlfriend. But on the flip side, I don’t want to be alone. It scares me to think that me and my girlfriend would breakup. I laugh and joke but don’t know why I do.
I really want to know what’s wrong with me because I was never like this before. Or if I was, it was deep down and is now just surfacing and I can’t handle it. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.

A: There are normal ups and downs that come along with adolescence, such as mood swings and hormonal changes. But what you’re describing sounds like a lot more than that. Please watch the video below for my complete response.

Take Good Care of Yourself,

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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[Video] I Have No Self-Esteem

Because I came to realise for the last fifteen years that I have no self esteem and I try to accomplish tasks that are far too difficult to make me feel slightly okay about myself to keep myself non suicidal. And when I fail, I feel so terrible. Like I want to die.

I’m not a suicidal person, I’m not, I just have issues with my self esteem. I have had problems with bullying for many many years, and only have friends over the internet not in real life. This has resulted in my low self esteem I think.

To make myself get through a day to make myself feel half decent, I have to accomplish a task. To the extent that I have gone to the store and bought flat pack furniture to bring it back and assemble it to make myself feel better. However, when I fail at this task I feel completely worthless. My family dont care, and I dont have anyone to turn to on this matter. Can you help me?

A: I am so sorry to hear of your pain over the last 15 years. If you’ve been bullied for years it makes sense that your self-esteem would become very fragile. I suggest that you get into therapy, particularly group therapy, to start expanding your relationships and learn how to trust. Please take a few minutes to watch the rest of my response in the video below…

Take good care of yourself!
Julie Hanks, LCSW

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More