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5 Myths About Forgiveness: Studio 5

5 Myths About Forgiveness: Studio 5

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It’s a common saying that we should forgive and forget when someone offends us, but the truth is that there’s a little more to forgiveness than that. Throughout my years as a therapist, I’ve worked with many clients who struggled with the concept of forgiveness (what it means, how to do it, etc.). Whether it’s with minor offenses or severe abuse, we don’t always quite get the whole idea of forgiveness. I define forgiveness as ceasing to feel resentment toward someone who’s wronged us. Forgiveness is beautiful and can heal hearts and relationships, but I think we still may misunderstand it at times. Here are some common myths about forgiveness:

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Social Media, Depression, and Loneliness: How to Beat the Facebook Blues

Social Media, Depression, and Loneliness: How to Beat the Facebook Blues

It’s no secret that social media connects us like never before. In an instant, we can snap pictures and post our whereabouts (think that selfie from your backpacking trip in Europe) and also keep tabs on what our friends are up to. I love social media. It has been an integral part of my professional life and is a great way to keep in touch with my loved ones. But it is not without its problems.
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In the past few years, there has been public and medical concern about such topics as cyber-bullying and too much screen time (particularly for young people). As a psychotherapist, I’d like to address one more issue as it relates to mental health and social media: that of internet loneliness, depression, and feelings of low self-esteem.

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Managing Technology Overload: Studio 5

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Have you ever looked around in a public place to see how many people were using their phones (texting, surfing the web, etc.)? It’s usually a lot, and truthfully it can be a little discouraging to witness individuals staring at their screens instead of talking to one another. Please don’t misunderstand, I am a huge advocate of technology; it’s profoundly changed my life and career for the better! Still, we all know that things can get out of hand if we let them. Digital overload affects our ability to process information cognitively, to be mindful of our own experience, and to be present with other people. Here are some ways to help you manage your technology use (instead of letting it control you):

Master Your Device Settings

One of the first ways to get a grip is to utilize your settings. We often think of parental controls as a way to filter out inappropriate content for our kids, but many devices have settings to help us limit the time we’re able to spend on them as well. For example, a specific feature may be set that means the computer cannot be used after 11 pm. Do some research, and take advantage of these types of settings to help you create boundaries.

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Is Social Media Dragging You Down?: Studio 5

Is Social Media Dragging You Down?: Studio 5

The original purpose of social media is to connect us, and yet for many women, looking in on others’ lives can leave us feeling inferior, jealous, isolated, or dissatisfied. So how can we put all these posts and pictures in perspective when we seem to get discouraged by them? There’s been quite a bit of research done on how social media affects us psychologically and emotionally. Here are a few tips to help you if you find that it’s dragging you down:

Social media drags you down(1)1. Be Intentional & Interact Directly

Studies have shown that always consuming, or simply binge reading and looking at picture after picture online can negatively impact you. I encourage you to instead intentionally research, seek out information, and connect with people in your life. Engage more and be purposeful; don’t just mindlessly scroll through your feed to fill time.

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Is Social Media Dragging You Down? Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

Is Social Media Dragging You Down? Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

The original purpose of social media is to connect us, and yet for many women, looking in on others’ lives can leave us feeling inferior, jealous, isolated, or dissatisfied. So how can we put all these posts and pictures in perspective when we seem to get discouraged by them? There’s been quite a bit of research done on how social media affects us psychologically and emotionally. Here are a few tips to help you if you find that it’s dragging you down:

1. Be Intentional & Interact Directly

Studies have shown that always consuming, or simply binge reading and looking at picture after picture online can negatively impact you. I encourage you to instead intentionally research, seek out information, and connect with people in your life. Engage more and be purposeful; don’t just mindlessly scroll through your feed to fill time.

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Five Real Life Skills for High Tech Kids: Dr. Julie Hanks Studio 5

We live in a technology-saturated world, and our kids are often more adept at the newest gadgets than we are! I’ve found that parents are sometimes weary about the newest developments in the tech world. But these are the times we live in, and the internet will never go away. The online world can improve our lives or it can distance us, so I invite adults to embrace the good it can bring. However, there are certain skills that our children may be (somewhat) lacking in how to function and have relationships in a non-virtual way. Here are 5 real life skills for high-tech kids.

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A Quick Pick Me Up!

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Martin Seligman, a known happiness researcher, stated that, “other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up” (Flourish, 2011, p. 20). Research shows that one of the fastest ways to feel a burst of happiness is by doing an act of kindness for someone else.

Here is a challenge for you!

In the next week, find one wholly unexpected, kind thing to do for someone and do it! It can be someone you know, or a complete stranger. Please comment on our Facebook page and share what you did and how it felt. This way we can get  ideas from each other and share in the fun that is random acts of kindness.

For my random act of kindness I decided to take cookies to my widowed neighbor that I do not know very well. It completely made her day. It was amazing to see how grateful she was just to have a visitor, the cookies were not even necessary. Not only did it make me feel great to make someone else feel good, but I also created another positive relationship in my life which always ends up benefitting me in the long run.

Take the challenge and see how amazing you feel. It can be something as simple as saying hi to the coworker that you normally don’t talk to, or something more extravagant. Either way, I promise it will be one the quickest pick-me-ups you can find.

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How To Carve Out You Time: Studio 5

Help for busy, overwhelmed women. Executive director, Julie Hanks answers your questions and offers strategies to help you carve out time for yourself.

1) Include YOU in your circle of care

Self-neglect isn’t a good long-term strategy for self-care. If you are committed to taking care of others for the long haul, then you need to include YOU as one of the people that you nurture and support.

2) Build it in

Set a recurring appointment with yourself and build in the support that you need to make it happen. Get a commitment from your husband for a certain time every week. Hire a teenage neighbor to come every Thursday afternoon for a few hours.

3) Get others on board

Let others have the opportunity to share the care giving responsibilities. If you tend to fall into the role of “caregiver” be sure to invite your family members to participate. If they are unwilling, ask extended family, your church or community group to pitch in.

4) Get creative

If you don’t have resources to hire a babysitter, you may have to get creative. Barter with a neighbor. Swap childcare for making dinner one night a week.

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Managing Cyber Envy: Studio 5

Therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW, owner and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy, cautions women to remember that a digital life is the best version of someone, not the entire picture.

 

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