Oh the joys of infatuation. Did you know if you take an MRI of a brain during infatuation and compare that to the MRI of a crack addict they would look almost identical? I have seen it myself. However infatuation can be a good drug, that is if you don’t become too addicted to it.
Infatuation is an altered state of consciousness meaning you usually say and do things in that state that you would not usually do. Infatuation floods the brain with ‘feel goods’ like dopamine. It is a natural drug in many ways and it has a purpose! Infatuation gets us to meet, mate and procreate! This semi-drug allows us to focus on one partner, as well as, see the positives and eliminate, or conveniently not notice the negatives. Lastly, it helps us get into relationships and keeps us there long enough to develop a deeper connection.
So what are the signs of infatuation (any of these sound like a drug to you?):
It’s natural for Moms and Dads to want to jump in and “fix it’ when kids are faced with a problem. But sometimes rushing to the rescue can do more harm than good. Therapist, Julie Hanks, LCSW has five questions to ask yourself before you rescue your child from natural consequences.
The only source of knowledge is experience – Einstein
Being a “good parent” usually means being involved in your child’s life and “doing” things for your child, like volunteering in school, attending their sporting events and teaching values and skills. Allowing your child to experience natural consequences is painful for parents because they require us to do less or to not do something which might leave you feeling like a “bad” parent. You may want to rescue your child from natural consequences to prevent your child from feeling pain, to keep your child happy, or to make your child like you. Or you may intervene in natural consequences to ease your own pain. It’s hard to see your child struggle with difficult emotions like disappointment, failure, and loneliness.
If our job as parents isn’t to keep our kids happy, what is our job? It’s to do what we can to raise responsible children who grow up and contribute something positive to society, and to encourage self-awareness and sensitivity to others so they can grow up to create fulfilling adult relationships and healthy families.