Blog Section

Ask A Therapist: Lost My Virginity and Now I’m Sleeping Around and Drinking A Lot

Q: I have a question. I’m 21 and I was dating this guy and well, I lost my virginity to him and I loved him. I felt like he used me. I was so hurt when we broke up and I then slept with his best friend and then another guy 6 times.  I drink a lot and I have low self esteem please I need some advice. I’m so lost.

A: It is incredibly painful to feel so deeply for your boyfriend that you would share your heart and your body with him only to have the relationship end. I’m so sorry that your boyfriend didn’t value the gift that you gave him, your first full expression of your sexuality.  While it’s incredibly difficult to feel used, there are many healthier options for dealing with your hurt than by doing things that cause more pain for you and others. Drinking and sexually acting out may temporarily make your feel powerful and numb your emotions but won’t lead to a healthy emotional place and will likely create more pain and hurt.

Please turn toward healthy relationships. Who have you gone to in the past for emotional support? Have you reached out to friends and family during this difficult time? If not, please share your pain with people you trust so you can receive comfort and strength.  Also, please consider seeking a therapist to sort through the loss of your relationship, understand the root of your unhealthy behavior, and to develop healthier coping skills. Click here if you need help to find a therapist in your area. You can feel good about yourself again. You can develop healthy love relationships.  Remember, you deserve to be with a man who wants to be with you and who cherishes you, body and soul.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

More

I Don’t Love My Boyfriend

Private moment. In public.

I guess when people say “to much of a good thing isn’t good either” they were right… I met my 2nd boyfriend senior year of high school, we fell in love and I can truly say that the first year with him was the best of my life. It was very odd that one random day, out of the blue, just a few days after our 1 year, I woke up and I just had a nagging feeling I didn’t love him anymore. It felt horrible. A lot of my friends and family said it’s because we had spent way to much time together, and so I thought okay, I’ll tell him we need to spend less time together. We did so for a few weeks but my feelings still didn’t change. This man [he is 20 like me] has been the most wonderful person to me in the entire world, he would give his life for me, and I know I would to. However, I constantly think of other guys, I’m curious to explore and be in other relationships. He is only my 2nd boyfriend, and I am his 1st girlfriend
Creative Commons License photo credit: skedonk. I care about him so much, and sometimes I feel like maybe just maybe one day I will feel that intense love I felt for him before, but as the months go by my hope lessens… it’s been about 5 months that I feel this way. I even broke up with him, but we got back together a month later because I am so used to him and feel so comfortable around him that I just felt kind of weird being without him. I encountered once after we broke up, and I couldn’t help but cry softly while he wasnt watching. That made me think that I must miss him and so I did get back with him… The main problem is that I take him for granted ALWAYS. I can yell at him, be enraged and not talk to him, break up with him or tell him I will, and he won’t do anything. I know he loves me so much it’s boring… I wish he would take control of the relationship and stop being so nice! We have never been in a fight because he avoids them, and I just wish he was a tougher. He is too loving and caring, I wish he was more stern and I really wish he broke up with me, because I feel like that is the only real way I will know if I love him or not. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but to me it does. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I am in much need of help.

Click below to hear my audio response.

[powerpress]

Cialis vs Viagra it is old dispute between two similar medicines which stand by the way almost equally. but here not a task how to decide on a choice and to start using one of them. Viagra vs Cialis much kontsentrivany cialis which is on sale in the form of powder and we use it as required emergency. but nevertheless what harm they neninut especially if the birch costs.

More