It’s a common saying that we should forgive and forget when someone offends us, but the truth is that there’s a little more to forgiveness than that. Throughout my years as a therapist, I’ve worked with many clients who struggled with the concept of forgiveness (what it means, how to do it, etc.). Whether it’s with minor offenses or severe abuse, we don’t always quite get the whole idea of forgiveness. I define forgiveness as ceasing to feel resentment toward someone who’s wronged us. Forgiveness is beautiful and can heal hearts and relationships, but I think we still may misunderstand it at times. Here are some common myths about forgiveness:
Mindfulness is becoming somewhat of a movement; mental health professionals and wellness advocates are singing its praises as a way to become more in touch with ourselves in the present moment. And it’s not just talk, either. There’s a lot of research to back up the idea that mindfulness can lead to greater happiness.
So what is mindfulness exactly? Some may think of practicing yoga or chanting mantras of peace and calmness. And while mindfulness may include meditation or have a spiritual component, at its core it simply refers to paying attention to ourselves on purpose. What clues is your body telling you? What emotions are you experiencing? What does your breathing sound like? We are such a distracted generation, and sometimes we need to slow down and tune in. The RAIN strategy is a simple technique to help you practice mindfulness:
Think of the last time you felt insecure. Ideally, we want to have good confidence, but all of us, men and women, experience insecurity in some form or another; those nagging uncertainties that can leave us feeling vulnerable and make us doubt ourselves. Sadly, our weaknesses and flaws (perceived or real) can make us feel like we’re not “good enough” or worthy of receiving love in our relationships. Thankfully, we have the opportunity to reframe out mindset and expectations so that we can overcome insecurities and choose confidence. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you get started:
When you think of the idea of creativity, what comes to mind? A brilliant painter? A famous film director? An acclaimed composer? While those examples certainly are true, there is more to creativity than famous artists and their work. For the purpose of this discussion, the definition of creativity is the ability to make new things or think new ideas, transforming existing materials into something novel and beneficial. Here are 5 common myths about creativity:
Wasatch Family Therapist founder and owner Dr. Julie Hanks, LCSW had the opportunity to be interviewed for the MarketWatch section of the Wall Street Journal about her experience pursuing a career while also being a mother. It is very encouraging and exciting that recent studies show that women with advanced degrees and education are also having children. Whereas in the past, women either had families or great jobs, today the tide is turning, and we no longer have to choose!
What are the factors causing this change? Fathers helping with domestic responsibilities and raising children, a mobile workforce, and increased opportunities are among the reasons that highly educated women are having more babies.
Here’s an excerpt:
Julie de Azevedo Hanks, is the owner and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, and the mother to four children. On Saturday, she will graduate from University of Louisiana at Monroe with a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy. “Tomorrow, I will be Dr. Julie Hanks.”
When it came to education and children, her motto for the past 25 years has been, ‘I refuse to choose!’ “Women seem to be challenging the long-held notion that an education/career and family are mutually exclusive,” Hanks says. “It’s no longer an either/or decision.”
She’s not alone. The number of highly educated women who are remaining childless into their mid-40s has plummeted over the last two decades, according to a new study by the nonprofit Pew Research Center, which crunched U.S. Census data.
Some people joke that women talk in code (and there’s probably some small truth to that!). But what if women owned up to their mixed messages and instead spoke their truth and said what they meant? That’s the topic behind this round of “What To Say Instead.” While it can be tempting to speak somewhat passive-aggressively, it’s much better to be honest and authentic about our feelings.
The following scenarios are ones in which woman mask their true emotions with trite sayings. But doing so is harmful to relationships because it’s deceptive and can limit intimacy. Read about better things to say to communicate and bridge those connections:
Scenario #1: Jane gets a call from her sister. At the time, she is trying to make dinner for her family, take care of her sick baby, and help her recently unemployed husband comb through job applications. Her sister asks how she is doing. Her response: “I’m fine.”
What To Say Instead – If this is a sister with whom she has a close relationship, it’s okay to open up! She doesn’t necessarily have to divulge all personal details, but saying something as simple as, “I’m having a really hard day, honestly” is telling the truth. There’s a pressure as women to appear as if something is going smoothly, but it’s okay to admit we don’t have it all together.
Confidence is one of those characteristics that almost every woman desires for herself. We understand that in many ways, confidence is key to happiness, assertiveness, and success. But how exactly do we acquire it? Here are 5 actionable items to boost your confidence:
1) Recognize the Context
Sometimes, we as women believe that struggling with confidence is a weakness we alone experience. But the truth is that many of us feel insecure and inadequate at times. Remember that although women have come a long way in the rights and opportunities available to us, we still need to continue to advocate for our equality. Feeling self-conscious or unconfident is part of the result of a bigger systemic picture. If you struggle with these feelings, know that you are not alone!
Everyone goes through challenging experiences: loss, illness, divorce, and other hardships can take a heavy emotional toll. Resilience is being able overcome these kind of struggles and is the ability to “bounce back.” But you don’t have to wait until the storms hit to develop this skill. Here are 5 ways to build resilience for when you really need it:
1) Seek 3:1 Ratio of Positive to Negative Emotions
Studies about highly resilient people show that they don’t experience fewer negative emotions, but instead experience more positive emotions. In other words, we don’t have to fake anything or pretend that we don’t feel difficult emotions, but we can foster positivity to help balance them. Trying to hit a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions can put things in perspective and help develop resilience (take the test at positivityratio.com to see how you are doing!).
True friends often go through a lot together. They experience the joys and good times, and sometimes they seeeach other through harder seasons of life as well. But it can be difficult to know exactly how to react when a friend is weathering a particularly difficult storm or is in some way unfulfilled. Here are 5 strategies to employ when a friend is unhappy
On the evening of September 27, 2014, the bodies of Springville, Utah couple Kristi and Benjamin Strack were found dead in their beds. Tragically, their three children were also found dead, and investigators determined the cause of all 5 deaths to be an overdose of lethal drugs.