The Manslator- (Women Language Translator).

Until the Manslator can be made Dr. John Lund, popular speaker, author and marriage therapist, has a solution.

Communicate exactly what your expectations are of your partner. Don’t expect them to figure it out or know. It’s dysfunctional to think, “If he really loved me, he would know what I needed.” It is not a sign of inadequacy in our relationship when we have to ask for what we want, it will make our relationship stronger. Frustration comes from unmet expectations. We have greater success opportunities of our needs being met if we communicate clearly and it gives our partner the opportunity to be successful.

For example, when you approach your partner with a problem, let them know if you want understanding or solutions. Most men’s inclination is to help you solve the problem. Let them know that one this a problem you just want them to listen and understand. If your partner does not communicate what they need you can ask, “I’m want to help, but I’m not sure if you want understanding or solutions.”

Communication is made of three components: body language, tone of voice and actual words. In a research study analyzing communication, the experts interpreted the message wrong one out of five times. If the experts are wrong 20% of the time, what does that mean for the rest of us? They were able to reduce the error rate to 1 percent by using content communication.

Content communicating- Say what you mean and hold each other accountable for your words. Ignore body language and tone of voice. This means if you say yes when he asks if he can go golfing then it means he can go golfing, even if you roll your eyes. Or if he says he will watch the kids while you get a pedicure, you go even if he seems upset. Dr. Lund suggests that you try it for a week. When we hold others and ourselves accountable for our words, we learn to ask for what we need if we want to get it.