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Say Yes to Saying No! Real Simple Magazine Interview

Say Yes to Saying No! Real Simple Magazine Interview

Watch for my advice on getting better at saying “no” in Jan. 2017 Real Simple Magazine cover story!

This month’s Real Simple magazine cover story is about the power of saying NO. I chatted with article writer Jennifer King Lindley and shared tips for setting healthy boundaries.

We are socialized to feel responsible for the feelings and well-being of those around us,” says Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D. a licensed clinical social worker in Salt Lake City and author of The Assertiveness Guide for Women.

How to say no to a friend who constantly sends emails and invitations for product lines she sells from home?

Be supportive but direct. “I’m so glad you’ve found a passion you can use your great skills in!” suggests Hanks. “But I’m just not interested in buying any candles right now. Humor can help, maybe, “I have enough candles for the rest of my life even if the power was out forever.” End it there or, if you’re close, offer to support her in a way that doesn’t involve your credit card.

My sister is going through a divorce and asked to move in with us until she can get back on her feet. My own marriage is strained, and having her in the house would ratchet up the pressure even more.

Think of your priorities as concentric circles. In the center is you, then your spouse and kids, then your extended family, then friends, then acquaintances,” says Hanks. “Reframe how you think about the decision. You are saying no to save your marriage, not because you are a bad sister.”

There are many other great tips for saying no in the New Year. Pick up your copy at the grocery store, book store, or magazine rack.

Read the entire article here Say Yes to Saying No (pdf download)

Download free chapter of The Assertiveness Guide for Women

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Helping Over-scheduled Moms Scale Back

I recently chatted with Nicole Carpenter, founder of MomEntity.com, about ways moms can scale back the number of family activities and prioritize what’s really important. Here are a few of my helpful tips and quotes from the article.

“When moms are frazzled and over-scheduled, the first thing to be neglected is personal self-care — sleep, healthy eating, exercise or meditation/prayer. Moms who neglect their personal needs for a long period of time lead to exhaustion, irritability and impatience with family members.”

“Saying ‘no’ is also important to mother’s mental health. Research published in the Journal of child and Family Studies last month suggests that mothers with an intense parenting style have poorer mental health than mothers with a more laid-back parenting approach. One characteristic of intense parenting is the belief that good moms are always providing stimulation for their children, and I think that belief leads many moms to take on more and more commitments and activities.”

Read the entire article here…

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Julie Hanks Shares Stop Whining Tips: WCCO Radio’s Chad Hartman Show

Julie Hanks was interviewed by WCCO Radio in Minnesota discussing therapists’ new approach To Stop the Whining in therapy. Hear why Julie believes whining is bad for an individual and listen to suggestions for dealing with someone who whines too much.

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Julie Hanks

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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Is Your Friendship On It’s Way Out?: HeadDrama.com

Wasatch Family Therapy DepressionFriendship breakups can be as painful as the breakup of love relationships. Do you suspect that your friend is distancing or on the verge of “dumping” you? I interviewed with a reporter from HeadDrama.com and just recently found out that she used my quotes.

Here are some clues that your friendship is waning:

  1. Slow response time. Did your friend used to respond quickly to your messages, texts, chats but has become slow to respond, or sometimes doesn’t respond at all?
  2. Leaving you out of the loop. Are you finding out what your friend has been doing on the weekends from others or from Facebook?
  3. Not looking you in the eye. Does your friend have a hard time looking you straight in the eye when you’re together?
  4. Cutting it short. When you are spending time with your friend does she seem disengaged or leave early?

Read the entire article “Signs A Friendship Is On It’s Way Out”

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