Based on both clinical wisdom from working with women and from her own experiences, Dr. de Azevedo Hanks invites women to embark on a journey to create a stronger sense of clarity, confidence, connection, and compassion by increasing their assertiveness in the areas of their lives that matter most. This book is useful to any woman who desires to increase her assertiveness and is a good tool for clinicians to use when addressing issues of connection, gender, attachment, and assertiveness. This wonderful guide is highly recommended for anyone who wants to be more assertive.
Reviewed by Beth Russell, Ph.D., LCSW, Clinical Associate Professor of Social Work, The College at Brockport for New Social Worker
Watch for my advice on getting better at saying “no” in Jan. 2017 Real Simple Magazine cover story!
This month’s Real Simple magazine cover story is about the power of saying NO. I chatted with article writer Jennifer King Lindley and shared tips for setting healthy boundaries.
We are socialized to feel responsible for the feelings and well-being of those around us,” says Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D. a licensed clinical social worker in Salt Lake City and author of The Assertiveness Guide for Women.
How to say no to a friend who constantly sends emails and invitations for product lines she sells from home?
Be supportive but direct. “I’m so glad you’ve found a passion you can use your great skills in!” suggests Hanks. “But I’m just not interested in buying any candles right now. Humor can help, maybe, “I have enough candles for the rest of my life even if the power was out forever.” End it there or, if you’re close, offer to support her in a way that doesn’t involve your credit card.
My sister is going through a divorce and asked to move in with us until she can get back on her feet. My own marriage is strained, and having her in the house would ratchet up the pressure even more.
Think of your priorities as concentric circles. In the center is you, then your spouse and kids, then your extended family, then friends, then acquaintances,” says Hanks. “Reframe how you think about the decision. You are saying no to save your marriage, not because you are a bad sister.”
There are many other great tips for saying no in the New Year. Pick up your copy at the grocery store, book store, or magazine rack.
Do you struggle to hold firm boundaries with your kids? These 3 tips for assertive parenting may help. It just posted on my publisher New Harbinger’s website:
“Assertiveness is a topic that I care deeply about. As a clinical therapist of over twenty years, I love to help women find and use their voice to clearly express themselves in a way that strengthens their connections with others and gets their own needs met. While assertiveness may seem more relevant to adult relationships, it also has great application in how we raise and interact with our children. Here are three ways to practice assertiveness in parenting…”
(Click here or on post title above to read the full article)
I’m excited to share this new podcast interview I did with for with Laura Reagan, LCSW-C’s Therapy Chat Podcast. We chat about my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women and key elements in the book, including:
How does attachment relate to our ability to ask for what we need?
What is assertiveness?
Why is assertiveness difficult for some women?
What makes The Assertiveness Guide for Women different than other assertiveness books?