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4 Things Every Parent Should Say

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Click the link below to watch Clair Mellenthin’s recent interview on KUTV with Fresh Living on the 4 things that every parent should say to their child!

http://kutv.com/features/fresh-living/clair-mellenthin-llc-4-things-every-parent-should-say

 

 

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Good Intentions, Bad Advice

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http://kutv.com/features/fresh-living/clair-mellenthin-llc-good-intentions-bad-advice

Clair Mellenthin visited Fresh Living to talk about what you should do in that situation. She says it’s important to trust yourself as a parent, and when you are needing advice, seek out information from trusted sources.

5 Way to Deal With “Advice”

  1. Smile, and say “Thank you” then walk away (and then choose to either toss it to the wind or think about it later)
  2. Ask how this advice has worked with their own child
  3. You have permission to just say, “You know, its a bad day today” and not justify your or your child’s behaviors to others
  4. Say “Parenting is a tough job some days. Its lucky I love this little guy”
  5. Set a boundary- if someone is overstepping their role in your or your child’s life, it is okay to set a limit and tell them no (wait! This is parenting right?!)

For more information from Clair, visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com or call (801) 944-4555

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Turning Your Child’s Aggression into Healthy Expressions

MAD BOYFrustration and anger often marks itself as shoving, hitting, and other aggressive behaviors in children. Teaching children how to handle their feelings reduces aggressive behaviors by giving them alternative openings. Children who display aggressive behaviors need support and direction to help them manage their behaviors and responses in different situations and environments. Although many children have occasional outbursts of anger and aggression, the children who have the support of parents who moderate and channel their children’s aggression towards healthy development will be able to operate with the skills to express their emotions and behaviors in a healthy way.

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January Date Night: Empowered Parenting

DATE: Fri. Jan. 24th

TIME: 7:00-9:00 p.m.

PRICE: $40.00 per couple (includes catered dinner for 2 by Texas Roadhouse Grill)

LOCATION: Wasatch Family Therapy (SL County Office)

7084 South 2033 East Suite 215

Cottonwood Heights, UT 84121

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and it doesn’t come with any instructions!  If you are wondering how to enhance your parenting skills, come to our Empowered Parenting Date Night on January 24th. You will not only walk away with some helpful parenting tools, but also a better understanding of how to create a meaningful relationship with your children, and more confidence as a parent

Taught by Ashley Thorn, AMFT, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist

Limited to 10 couples

Reserve your seats now at Eventbrite

Texas Roadhouse

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The Parent Trap: Clair Mellenthin on KUTV Fresh Living

Parenting is a difficult road to navigate especially when there might be two parents involved who have two different styles of parenting. Clair Mellenthin, LCSW, and clinical director of Wasatch Family Therapy joined KUTV Fresh Living to talk about the Parent Trap.Family 2

Watch the interview here.

3 Things to Remember to Avoid the Parent Trap:

  • Every parent is different.
  • There is no “right” parent.
  • Come together and be unified as parents.

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3 Ways Parents Can Emotionally Prepare Youth for LDS Mission

3 Ways Parents Can Emotionally Prepare Youth for LDS Mission

In the LDS community, I am often asked, “How can I prepare my son or daughter for full-time missionary service?” As a therapist who sees many teens who have a mission goal in mind, I look for 3 factors that may determine success in meeting the demands of mission service.

1. Social Skills

As parents, we often focus on our child’s G.P.A, but what does their “Citizenship” grades indicate? As a parent myself, when I attend parent/teacher conferences I ask, “How does my child interact with others? Are they kind and helpful with their peers? Are they respectful to you, the teacher?”. Social skills are paramount in relating well to others when sharing the gospel, getting along with companions, (24/7!) and showing respect and good communication with interacting with zone leaders, mission presidents and all their peers in the MTC.

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Is Public Shaming Good or Bad Parenting?: KSL News

Julie Hanks, LCSW joins KSL News to discuss the newest parenting trend, public shaming.

Public shaming might not be the punishment that parents are hoping for. It may encourage bad behavior by directing attention to it. This concerning trend shames the child but doesn’t address the negative behavior. Also, it does seem concerning that parents are receiving attention for the shaming instead of focusing on the teaching of positive behavior.

Here are a couple ideas that can take the place of public shaming:

1. Focus on your relationship with your child. Use that relationship to discuss the values that matter to your family and why their behavior isn’t in line with those values.

2. Focus on positive behaviors that reinforce family values, like volunteering.

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The Sexualization of Young Girls: KUTV News

Most parents would be horrified to think of their little girl as a sexualized object in our society, but that is what “smart” marketing is doing without our conscious awareness. Watch for my tips on how to protect your children from this cultural phenomenon as well as ways parents can teach their children their individual worth, beauty, and self-esteem.

http://kutv.com/news/features/fresh-living/main/stories/vid_653.shtml

 

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The Birds And The Bees: Talking To Your Child about Sex

 

Teaching your child about sex and safe-touch should be an ongoing discussion that starts as early as they are verbal.

1. Start by teaching them about private parts.  Explain the difference between good touch and bad touch. I like to use Your Body Belongs To You! A Coloring & Activities Book .   Tell them that no one has the right to touch their private parts and they can say no and tell someone. RadKids Rules

2. It is normal for pre-school aged children to become interested and fascinated with private parts (theirs and others). Use correct medical language, not nicknames, when discussing private parts.   Answer questions on a level consistent with their developmental age.  (i.e. they don’t need to have anatomy lessons to understand where babies come from, that comes later).   Talk to them about your personal and family values.  If your child exhibits sexual behavior, it’s important to deal with it without making them feel shame or embarrassment. Here’s a resource with more detailed information and explains the difference between normal and concerning behavior. 

3.  With school age children, parents need to be more direct regarding sexual abuse and sex education.  Some of these resources are may be too direct or differ with your values so it’s important to read before sharing them with your child.  The books do not need to be read in entirety you can pick and choose depending on your child’s questions or level of understanding.

What Every Kid Should Know About Sexual Abuse: A Coloring & Activities Book 

What’s the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys 

The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (Jody Bergsma Collection)

How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It’s Best to Start Early, but It’s Never Too Late- A Step by Step Guide for Every Age
4.  Explain maturation before the school’s presentation.

Most public schools present information about maturation in fifth grade.  Children are often easily embarrassed at this age, especially boys.  Some of them may find it more helpful to be given a book or pamphlets to read.  However, if you choose this method make sure you have a follow-up discussion with them and are available for questions.  If you are open, non-judgemental and informative it will increase the chances of them coming to you with questions instead of going to their friends. Or maybe I should say coming to you after they have heard incorrect information from their friends.

Puberty for boys: The Boys Body Book: Everything You Need To Know for Group Up You (Boys World Books)

Puberty for girls: The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl) 

The Girl’s Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You (Girlsworld)

5. Don’t worry about giving your teen too much information about sex education. Most parents error on not providing enough information because they don’t want to “expose” them.  Unfortunately in my practice I see that tweens/teens have already been exposed to it.  Parents need to continue to teach their values in a non-judgemental way, focusing on the benefits of living those values.  Have frank discussions with them about choices and consequences.  Relate it to what their peers are doing, good and bad. I cannot stress the importance of having a strong/bonded relationship prior to having these discussions.

Sex Ed for Teens:

Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: Expanded Third Edition: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships

The Sex EDcylopedia: A Comprehensive Guide to Healthy Sexuality, For the Modern, Male Teen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 Steps to Discipline That Works

When we hear the word “discipline”, we often think of something negative, because it usually means some form of punishment is being used. However, the word “discipline” actually means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct. So, discipline can be a negative thing if we are using a forceful or controlling approach, but it can (and should) be a positive thing if we take a more instructive approach by teaching or guiding. The most effective and respectful type of discipline is one that respects your child’s ability to make choices for their behavior within the structure and limits you establish, and allows them to experience a natural or logical consequence for the behavior they choose. Here are 7 steps to help you establish this type of discipline in your own household:Wasatch Family Therapy

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