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Are You Self-Aware or Self-Absorbed?: Julie Hanks, LCSW on Studio 5

We each have a long list of personal responsibilities: our finances, careers, bodies, families, etc. It’s critical to be aware of our lives and our needs. But when does self-awareness become self-obsession? Do we think about ourselves too much?  Here’s how to determine if you’re self-aware or self-absorbed:

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Normal or Not? Bedtime Issues

normal or not bedtime issues

It’s another round of “Normal or Not” with Todd and Erin on Rewind 100.7 where LCSW Julie Hanks fields listeners’ questions. Today’s topic: bedroom issues!

One woman can’t go to bed without doing her hair, and another man gets upset if his wife doesn’t go to bed at the same time as him every night. Listen to the segment to find out if these behaviors are normal or not.

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When Adorable Traits Become Annoying: Julie Hanks in WSJ

fatal attraction

Have you ever been annoyed by certain habits or quirks of your partner that you once found endearing? Perhaps you were drawn to a man because you admired his work ethic, but then later came to see him as a workaholic. Or maybe you initially liked how a woman was dedicated to physical fitness, but eventually felt she was self-absorbed. This phenomenon, which experts refer to as a fatal attraction, can wreak havoc on relationships.

Julie Hanks had the opportunity to give her insight on this topic in a new Wall Street Journal article out today entitled, “How to Cope When You and Your Partner are Falling Out of Love.” She and other relationship experts discuss how to appropriately handle this fatal attraction in such ways as recognizing that every character trait has pros and cons, reflecting on what you do appreciate about your romantic partner, and considering how the other person brings balance to the relationship.

Click here to read the article in full.

 

 

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5 Conversational Pet Peeves: Julie Hanks on Studio 5

5 Conversational Pet Peeves: Julie Hanks on Studio 5

There’s an art to good conversation, and sometimes we don’t get it quite right. When it comes to conversational mishaps, there’s impolite…and then there’s annoying. Certain patterns are not only irritating but also don’t work or move the relationship forward. Here are five conversational pet peeves to avoid (we’re all guilty of at least a few!) :

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Surviving the Bomb: First Steps After the Affair

Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful has the potential to be one of the most devastating experiences a person can encounter in his/her life.   A common and appropriate reaction, given the circumstances, is panic.  There is generally nothing short of a roller coaster of emotions, and as a result, many couples do unintentional damage before they can seek help.  This is to be expected as no one tells you what you should do in the immediate aftermath of an affair.

The main goal is to limit the destruction in the time between finding out and getting help.  Here are some crisis control tips to follow until you can get some additional help:

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Ask Julie: What Should I Say? Julie Hanks on Studio 5

Straightforward advice for your toughest relationship situations!

This week on KSL TV’s Studio 5 with Brooke Walker I tackled viewer’s tough relationship dilemmas in a new Q & A segment called “Ask Julie.” Topics included:

  • How should I handle my manipulative mom?
  • How to I tell a friend I need distance?
  • How do I tell my mother-in-law to stop treating me like a child?
  • How do I tell my neighbor to stop ruining my fence?

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8 Phrases That End a Relationship Fight: Julie Hanks in Redbook Magazine

Wasatch Family Therapy Couples
Julie Hanks, LCSW was interviewed by Redbook Magazine to discuss why/how some phrases work well when ending a fight with your partner. Many of these phrases are meant to clarify, pause, or help you re-connect when things start to go South.

Read the article online!

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The Resolution That’s Not On Your Radar: Julie Hanks interview Shape.com

The Resolution That’s Not On Your Radar: Julie Hanks interview Shape.com

What’s your New Year’s Resolution? Losing 5 pounds? Getting more organized? I interviewed recently with Shape Magazine to talk about a resolution that you may not have considered…improving your emotional connections.

Here are a few of my tips on how to strengthen your face-to-face relationships with loved ones…

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Creating Connection: Are You the Sun or North Wind?


Marriage Parable: The Sun and The North Windhappycouplev2-banner

A traveler was walking alone down a country lane. The Sun and the North Wind decided to have a contest to see who could remove the traveler’s overcoat. The North Wind tried first. He blew and he blew around the traveler as fiercely as he could, trying to rip the coat from the traveler but the traveler wrapped his coat more closely around him and held it tighter. The more the North Wind blew, the tighter the traveler hugged the coat. Then the Sun said, “Let me try,” and as she gently shone her warmth on the traveler, the traveler opened his coat and within minutes took it off (Alison Lee, Ph.D., EFT Community News 2013).

Now, put on your relationship hat. What is this parable teaching about creating closeness and safety in a marriage? Imagine that the traveler is you or your spouse and the overcoat represents vulnerability or risking connection in the relationship. To reach our partner and feel the reassurance that we are loved and cared for, we can choose to “blow off the overcoat” like the North Wind or “to gently warm” our spouse and he/she will remove the overcoat willingly.

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Meet Answers.com’s New Relationship Expert

Ok, ok. I know some of you will give me flack about this. You’ve heard me speak, write, and blog on the importance of setting healthy boundaries, saying “no”, and not over-committing ourselves, right? Well, sometimes you’ve just got to break your own rules! Like when one of the top websites top websites in the US and globally offers you a paying gig as their Relationship Expert!

I didn’t say yes immediately. I wanted to do my homework and make sure that it was worth my time and energy. It was. And I said YES!

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