When you’re tween feels misunderstood don’t get defensive and try to prove your tween wrong with, “Yes, I do understand you! I was a kid once.” Disarm your tween by saying, “You’re right. I don’t think I fully understand what it’s like to be you right now. Will you help me? Tell me more…”
2) “My room IS clean”
Avoid getting into a power struggle about whether your tweens room is messy or not. As a parent, one trick that worked for me is to require my tweens to have their messy bedroom picked once a week, every Saturday. The once a week rule helped me stay out of the nagging mom role, and preventing the messes from becoming too out of control.
Need help finding clothes to fit your standards and her style? It’s just one of the challenges moms face when shopping with “Tweens” and teens. We help you resolve your shopping struggles, before you hit the stores.
Pam: “I would like to ask how I can make my daughter understand the difference between a $100 pair of jeans and a $50 or $25 pair of jeans and how to make money go farther?”
Tip – Give your daughter the cash
Decide on a budget and stick to it. Be concrete about it by using cash so your daughter can actually see and feel the money. This is a great way to allow her to make difficult choices to be accountable for her clothing selections.
I was invited to weigh in on the subject of daughters and makeup for a popular woman’s website SheKnows.com. Having gone through the makeup transition several years ago with my 16 year old daughter, and having dealt with parent child struggles in my therapy practice, I had a few things to say.
“Makeup often represents an adolescent girl’s eagerness and excitement to become a ‘grown up,’ and explore her attractiveness to peers, but for parents, it can bring up fear and stress relating to their child maturing and becoming interested in boys,” says Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist specializing in family relationships. “It may also represent a daughter pulling away from her parents to focus more on peers, which may feel scary for some parents.”
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