By Common Consent published my guest blog today about what not to say to a loved one leaving the Church. I’ve had a handful of requests for PDF printables of the lists in the article…so here you go!
Do you post selfies online? If so, you’re far from alone; the selfie trend seems to have reached a fever pitch in recent years. What’s causing this selfie-driven culture? And what are your selfies saying about you?
Do you post selfies? If so, you’re far from alone; the selfie trend seems to have reached a fever pitch in recent years. Back in 2014, Google revealed that Android users alone take 93 million selfies per day! And pretty much all celebrities on Instagram have up-close pictures of their faces that they’ve decided to blast out to their fans. Selfies come in all different forms: reflective, silly, sensual, and just downright vain.
By exploring your self-doubt, challenging your thoughts, and taking action, you can manage insecurities so they don’t sabotage your confidence and happiness….
Confidence is something we all aspire to have, but the truth is that insecurity is something we all experience. Insecurities were huge for most people in high school (think acne, frizzy hair, not making the sports team, etc.), and although we’ve hopefully gotten over some of these things, we still are fragile and imperfect human beings who sometimes doubt ourselves.More
Based on both clinical wisdom from working with women and from her own experiences, Dr. de Azevedo Hanks invites women to embark on a journey to create a stronger sense of clarity, confidence, connection, and compassion by increasing their assertiveness in the areas of their lives that matter most. This book is useful to any woman who desires to increase her assertiveness and is a good tool for clinicians to use when addressing issues of connection, gender, attachment, and assertiveness. This wonderful guide is highly recommended for anyone who wants to be more assertive.
Reviewed by Beth Russell, Ph.D., LCSW, Clinical Associate Professor of Social Work, The College at Brockport for New Social Worker
Watch for my advice on getting better at saying “no” in Jan. 2017 Real Simple Magazine cover story!
This month’s Real Simple magazine cover story is about the power of saying NO. I chatted with article writer Jennifer King Lindley and shared tips for setting healthy boundaries.
We are socialized to feel responsible for the feelings and well-being of those around us,” says Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D. a licensed clinical social worker in Salt Lake City and author of The Assertiveness Guide for Women.
How to say no to a friend who constantly sends emails and invitations for product lines she sells from home?
Be supportive but direct. “I’m so glad you’ve found a passion you can use your great skills in!” suggests Hanks. “But I’m just not interested in buying any candles right now. Humor can help, maybe, “I have enough candles for the rest of my life even if the power was out forever.” End it there or, if you’re close, offer to support her in a way that doesn’t involve your credit card.
My sister is going through a divorce and asked to move in with us until she can get back on her feet. My own marriage is strained, and having her in the house would ratchet up the pressure even more.
Think of your priorities as concentric circles. In the center is you, then your spouse and kids, then your extended family, then friends, then acquaintances,” says Hanks. “Reframe how you think about the decision. You are saying no to save your marriage, not because you are a bad sister.”
There are many other great tips for saying no in the New Year. Pick up your copy at the grocery store, book store, or magazine rack.
Read the entire article here Say Yes to Saying No (pdf download)More
The pressure to be cheerful and happy during the holidays can be particularly hard for people dealing with grief and loss: the death of a loved one, your first Christmas since being divorced, job loss, or just the passage of time. Lindsay Aerts, host of The Mom Show on KSL Radio, and I sat down to talk about how to manage painful feelings during a time when you’re “supposed” to be merry.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by high expectations and “shoulds”? I sat down with Lindsay Aerts, host of KSL Radio’s The Mom Show to share tips for moms to prevent holiday burnout. Here are a few topics we cover during this interview:
- Challenging high expectations around the holidays
- Saying no
- Asking yourself what you want to do
- Managing shoulds
- Emotional self-care sorting feelings from thoughts
Download How to Shift Your Shoulds Worksheet (pdf)
From Lean In to The Female Brain, experts from diverse fields, with varying degrees of success, have tried to empower women to best understand their feelings and behaviors and act accordingly. The Assertiveness Guide for Women, by psychotherapist and clinical social worker Hanks, follows in a similar vein, with the particular goal of helping women improve their communication, set healthy boundaries, and benefit their personal and professional relationships.
It is important to note Hanks’ areas of expertise in considering this book, because they have a significant impact on her approach. Her method is thoroughly imbedded in psychotherapeutic technique and theory, which may limit the scope of its applicability. Indeed, a book that is more concerned with childhood attachment types than the societal obstacles women face each day may not work for everyone.