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Feelings Word List: FREE Download

Feelings Word List: FREE Download

An important first step in developing emotional health is becoming more aware of your internal emotional cues. Once you learned to recognize that you’re feeling something, the next step is to give a label to the emotion you’re experiencing. Interestingly, the very act of naming your feelings helps reduce the intensity of the feeling, making it more manageable.

Use this feelings word list to help you label your feelings and increase your feeling vocabulary.

Feeling word list (pdf download)

I you need additional support to manage your emotions, we can help. Get to know our therapists and their specialty areas.

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Five Signs of a Manipulative Relationship: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

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Most of us understand that a relationship in which an individual tries to control or manipulate the other person is not a healthy one. And while no relationship is perfect, some have chronic patterns of manipulation that can be damaging to an individual’s emotional wellbeing and can likewise hurt the connection itself. But how can we spot such a relationship? We tend to think of obvious big indications of manipulation, but others are more subtle. Here are 5 signs to watch out for that may be evidence of a manipulative relationship:

1) You Feel Responsible for Your Partner’s Happiness

At the root of all of this is the quest for satisfaction and contentment in relationships. But if you feel personally responsible for your partner’s happiness, you may be experiencing some level of manipulation. There is a difference between being sensitive toward and aware of the needs of your significant other and feeling like it is your job to make that person happy.  Do you feel like you have to do things perfectly, look a certain way, and complete certain tasks to please the other person? These are unreasonable expectations and may signify that the other person is (subtly) manipulating you.

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DBT WOMEN’S GROUP BEGINS JUNE 2nd!

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Next Group Begins June 2nd, 2015!

Tuesdays 6:00-7:30 pm

Led by Monette Cash, LCSW

Women’s DBT Skills Group is a 3-series skills group that teaches basic skills
such as how to manage your emotions so they dont control your life-how
to cope effectively with difficult relationships- and learning how to
react calmly rather than impulsively in order to avoid unhealthy
escapes. This 3 module skill group will run in 6 week segments and
all are necessary to have lasting success.

 

Mindfulness and Distress Tolerance    (6 weeks / June 2 – July 7)

Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness    (6 weeks / Sept. 8 – Oct. 13)

 

Please contact us to register for the group!

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How to be a Sex-Positive Parent: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

How to Be a Sex Positive Parent InstagramEven the most confident of parents often feel uncomfortable with the prospect of talking to their children about sex. Most understand that if we fail to talk about it, they will learn about it from media and peers, and that it is our responsibility to do so to ensure that they have accurate information.But still, it’s not an easy conversation to have! And even for those who are brave enough to do so, how can we best help our kids not only know the facts, but also have a healthy attitude toward their bodies and understand sex in a way that will benefit them? Here are 5 ways to be a sex-positive parent:

1) Realize It Begins At Birth

Many parents wonder what is the appropriate age to begin talking about sex. But the truth is that positive attitudes about bodies and sexuality begin from the very beginning. When children are young, don’t be afraid to verbally celebrate and affirm the importance of their bodies. Even during toilet training, take the opportunity to help them notice how wonderful and useful their bodies can be. Kids absorb the messages you send in your tone of your voice and by how you respond to their actions.

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May is Date Your Mate Month! Kathleen Baxter, AMFT – Interview on KUTV

May is “date your mate” month! Wasatch Family Therapy’s Kathleen Baxter, AMFT, recently sat down for an interview on KUTV to discuss ways to keep marriage relationships strong and healthy. But first, she explained some of the biggest obstacles couples may face:

Some may panic when they realize they don’t feel the same way about their partner as they once did. But it is normal and expected for a relationship to change after marriage, so it isn’t necessarily an indication of a problem. Also, many couples “stop” being spouses because they are now parents. A couple’s devotion to their children can unfortunately lessen their devotion to each other.

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Sex-Positive Parenting Resource List

Sex-Positive Parenting Resource ListMany parents feel anxious when it comes to discussing sexuality with their children. You are not alone. Even the most confident parents may squirm just a bit when a child asks a direct question regarding sexuality that they are not prepared to discuss. Here are some resources to help you and your child navigate the important process of discussing sexual issues. Thank you to my colleague Holly Willard, LCSW for book recommendations.

Books

School-Aged Children

What Every Kid Should Know About Sexual Abuse: A Coloring & Activities Book

What’s the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys

The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (Jody Bergsma Collection)

How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It’s Best to Start Early, but It’s Never Too Late- A Step by Step Guide for Every Age

Puberty for boys

The Boys Body Book: Everything You Need To Know for Group Up You (Boys World Books)

Puberty for girls

The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl)

The Girl’s Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You (Girlsworld)

For Teens

Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: Expanded Third Edition: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships

The Sex EDcylopedia: A Comprehensive Guide to Healthy Sexuality, For the Modern, Male Teen

Websites

Helping parents and children talk (Advocates for Youth)

Parents’ Sex Ed Center

Sexual Intimacy is Sacred and Beautiful (Family resource published by LDS Church)

Discussion/Interview with The Mormon Therapist on masturbation

Watch the full-interview here

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You are So Much More than Your Cup Size…

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You would have to have a description of my friend, Barbie Dahl, to understand the irrationality of her decision. Barbie Dahl is not her real name, but it is so befitting this statuesque beauty with the piercing dark eyes and the stunning features. “Red carpet beautiful” – that’s how people always described her. “She is so beautiful she could walk the red carpet with ‘The Stars’ and fit right in!”

Barbie, as beautiful as she is, however, struggles with feelings of low self worth. Somewhere in the course of her life, she has developed the erroneous belief that all she has to offer the world is her good looks. As she was nearing 50, her looks were beginning to fade and she was SCARED!!! When she confessed to me one day that she “just doesn’t feel good” about herself because of the way that she currently looks and she had scheduled some plastic surgery because she believed it was just the thing that she would need to “boost” her self esteem, everything inside of me screamed, “NOT YOU TOO!!!” She already so closely fit society’s definition of the “Perfect 10″ that if she felt the need to permanently and surgically alter her appearance than virtually no one is insulated from the lie that a woman’s worth is based on “how good she looks.”

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JulieHanks.com Wins 2015 NASW Media Award

2015 NASW Media AwardWhat do Lisa Ling, Rosie O’Donnel and I have in common? Not much. Except…we have all been awarded with a 2015 The National Association of Social Workers Media Award for using the media to help raise awareness of social work and social issues.  My website JulieHanks.com was voted “Best Blog.”

I love creating helpful and trusted content so it’s just icing on the cake to be recognized for my efforts. I am so grateful to be able to share my understanding of mental health, relationships, and strategies to build a private practice with my loyal readers. Thank you so much to all who voted!

Click here for the full list of winners.

For more relationship and mental health information follow me on social media:

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The Greatest Gift You Can Give Is..

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I had a thought provoking experience a few weeks ago. In a couple’s therapy session, a client turned to me (after arguing with her husband for a few minutes), and said, looking for confirmation: “the greatest gift you can give someone is your undivided attention.” It felt poetic! It sounded true, at least worth arguing about! I thought about it for a while after the session. As a marriage therapist, it is important to know what the greatest gifts you can give to one another truly are! The other interesting part that stayed with me was that her husband did not seem to agree…

So, I decided to put it to the test. I started asking others what they thought about the concept of undivided attention. Some people’s eyes would light up like a Christmas tree and would whole-heartedly agree with the statement. However, others would seem to be unaffected by it, receiving it with a “ho-hum” response, if anything at all. Surely, the greatest gift for that client was undivided attention, and she is not the only one! However, it appears that others would fill in the end of that sentence with a different response: “The Greatest Gift You Could Give Me is _______________.” How would you fill in the blank?

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Passive-Aggressive Conversation Killers: LCSW Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

Passive-Aggressive Conversation Killers: LCSW Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5


Some people joke that women talk in code (and there’s probably some small truth to that!). But what if women owned up to their mixed messages and instead spoke their truth and said what they meant? That’s the topic behind this round of “What To Say Instead.” While it can be tempting to speak somewhat passive-aggressively, it’s much better to be honest and authentic about our feelings.

The following scenarios are ones in which woman mask their true emotions with trite sayings. But doing so is harmful to relationships because it’s deceptive and can limit intimacy. Read about better things to say to communicate and bridge those connections:

Scenario #1: Jane gets a call from her sister. At the time, she is trying to make dinner for her family, take care of her sick baby, and help her recently unemployed husband comb through job applications. Her sister asks how she is doing. Her response: “I’m fine.”

What To Say Instead – If this is a sister with whom she has a close relationship, it’s okay to open up! She doesn’t necessarily have to divulge all personal details, but saying something as simple as, “I’m having a really hard day, honestly” is telling the truth. There’s a pressure as women to appear as if something is going smoothly, but it’s okay to admit we don’t have it all together.

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How About a Self Esteem Boost??

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What does good self-esteem look like?  It is when we are thinking, feeling, and acting in a way that shows that we respect, accept, and believe in ourselves.  It also implies that we trust ourselves and who we are.  Self-esteem is not a constant.  It is variable and experiences many ups and downs, highs and lows, which can be affected by a number of the different things we encounter in life; both good and bad.

Here is a fantastic way to boost or to move toward a healthier self-esteem:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!      HERE’S HOW:

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